Alrighty - need to climb in the car and hit the road for Chi-town, then off to Orlando. No posts til I get back......I'll be going crazy wondering what's up with the boyz of the blog (maybe we need to have a calendar made)....Blogstalker, buddy - your own my mind - please be good to yourself.

Have a great weekend friends. Aista!

chowing down on Panda Express and listening to Cafe Del Mar Vol. 7 - work, well, been there done that - Interactive Business Plan - DONE!...Partners thrilled (INSERT HERE: some grunting, some scratching and then a loud slam dunk performed by the venerable Shaq - well not revered for acting or rapping.

Just had a very fun lunch adventure down town with my girl (let's call her) L-Train...kinda concerned - we were scamming guys and I pointed out a very handsome daddy who combined ruggedness, class, sexuality and intelligent (oh be still my fragile heart) and she cooed with agreement and then said, "You're like having a sister" - uh-oh.

I mean I know she meant well, but hey can't I be "like a hot brother who likes good-looking men"?

Oh well - I'll roll with it.

Pressure and stress is befalling my vacation before I have even left - Cal Ripken is stuck in Detroit - Cal was supposed to fly out of O'Hare with me, so now I get to drive down to Chicago (but first swing by his house and get his bags and the event tickets) and fly to Orlando tonight by myself. My Boy doesn't get in til 7am tomorrow (poor guy is taking a really shitty red-eye) - so thus I am alone in Orlando tonight.

So hey if you see a cute little sparkplug of a guy in a light blue v-neck, short brown/red hair and goatee, wandering the streets of Orlando aimlessly - don't be afraid to give him a hug - he's gonna be feeling pretty lonely.

PS - I added ReBlogger, so we can all share again....thanks to Tinman and to the code creator Jesse Malone

Hmmm - auditions anyone:

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): "I need moral support, artistic mentors, loyal friends, and spiritual leaders," writes Hannah J., a Leo reader from Philadelphia, "and I need them NOW!" On the other hand, there's Eric G., a Leo reader from Halifax, Nova Scotia. "Amazingly enough, I really do have all the help I need," he claims. "What I want next are more constructive critics, good competitors who fight fair, loved ones who don't automatically think every thing I do is perfect, and enemies who inspire me to become better." I have good news for all you Leos: In the coming weeks, you'll have abundant opportunities to benefit from the influences that both Hannah and Eric seek.

Source: Robert Brezsny

ok - I was a posting fiend yesterday (Black Tuesday), so it's Wednesday and I'm in meetings all day (must work, want to Blog, must work, want to Blog)....

A little stressed - have to pack for Orlando , work out, hit a work softball game and so much more before I fly out of O'Hare tomorrow - (INSERT HERE: Hanging with my BOY *sigh, gulp, lust, love* and he's meeting my favorite buddy in Chi-Town - let's name him Cal Ripken - daddy, daddy, daddy...PRAYER: please make friends you are both too important to me to fight)

Hey am I the only one whose noticed touring the world of Blogs that Jonno has become like a blog "heartthrob" ?? (INSERT HERE: Manly Swoon followed by mention that ssssTurtle is a hottie to boot)

Blogstalker - I eagerly await the inventory of the contents of your refrigerator ;)

wow - when I mentioned getting lost I must have meant it. Must be the heavy levels of seratonin depleted this weekend. Hmmm - started tripping-skipping-sipping through the blog files around 5pm - I should be at the gym....shirtless circumstances are calling this weekend (but ugh, the vanity get's old - but shit I'm getting older - so as I said - I really, REALLY should be at the gym)....


....nope, still here (ok, so if I skip the gym two days in a row what's the worst that will happen ?)

I like being in the office at this time of night though - twilight is finally bringing an amber hue to the city, from my office I can see Lake Michigan, the 100 year old apartment building I live in and the other buildings of downtown Milwaukee.

Here's what's tickling my thought pattern tonight:

How do I react the first time someone put's two-and-two together to who I am off of this site ? I mean I feel this perverse desire to connect with my fellow bloggers but what of the lurkers (I used to be one) - I want to say more here: how much I want to move back to AZ and plan to soon, that suddenly my dream job has become as fulfilling as a helium, that I miss and love my boyfriend with everything in me - but still feel lust in my bones for the boys in Boystown, that I can be both the most sentimental fucker you ever met, the kindest and the most arrogant in the same breath, but I have to admit I worry about a co-worker stumbling upon this (early on before I starting blogging I was way too vocal about what a great concept I thought this was), or an ex, or an enemy (I really don't think I have any but there are two absolutes in life: somewhere there is someone who loves you and just can't help feeling that way AND somewhere there is someone who hates you and just can't help feeling that way)

I mean I'm starting to give way to adding pics of me - I can't be stupid - I'm making it easier to put it all together - but I feel this need to open up a little more to my fellow bloggers that have made efforts to bring me in to their world.

Hmmm kinda a whiny entry...OK, so here's the deal - if you read this and you think, hey I KNOW Holden - remember you've climbed inside my head by stepping into this web site - be careful with it's contents - the owner of them deems them valuable.

do you ever get a little lost when reading other peoples Blogs?

I mean working on a project (in my case a interactive business plan and timeline for a client) and suddenly thinking - oh crap I haven't gotten my daily fill of Everlasting Blogstalker, Jonno, or Jockohomo.
You tootle (is that really a word?) over to their Blogs and just kinda get lost. You read, you think, you feel this affinities to people you wouldn't even recognize on the street - they make you feel, dare, dream, sing, speak - whatever your outlet...and suddenly your looking at the clock and your unfinished business plan and your like crap - where did I go for the past hour (INSERT HERE: overwhelming sense of Irish Protestant Work Ethic Guilt).

For some reason I can't get myself to blog at home, I hate doing this on my laptop, the 56k connection is a drag on my patience, I'm never home, I'm at the gym, I'm abusing myself (yeah - I mean what ya think).

Hmmmm maybe my blog has become my frustrated professional release from my job - and maybe more so reading everyone else's blogs has become my escape from my day-to-day life in Milwaukee.


Ok - now I really should be getting back to work.

Wow - feel at a loss, haven't blogged in days. Crazy weekend in Chicago for IML (International Male Leather), I have to admit there is truth in the phrase "too much of a good thing" - I could really do without seeing a harness or chaps or any leather for awhile. Some of the nicest people around though - very friendly crowd (ok - it could have been E-induced friendliness, but really we were "all" so damn cheerful!)
And the men were truly very, very hot....but never did run into this one
Got my picture snapped for the Chicago Free Press - is fame really just a few steps away ? :)

I wore my Blogger t-shirt to gym - fit pretty snug - looked good but ripped at the collar when I pulled it off - woah is cheap merchandise!


Now I'm leaving for Orlando for GayDay with my boy and of course Mickey - I really can't wait to crash and have a low key weekend everything is kinda crazy right now.

Glad my blog is back. Stories to tell, beans to spill, but really I gotta get to work.

I feel so empty, so sad....I am without my blog. Oh well I'm trying to get my new web site setup on a Virtual Host and then in the meanwhile I am tinkering with a Non-Virtual Host for a place to store images to use on this site - right now I'm not sure if that works or not because the IMG SRC tag doesn't seem to be sourcing the images I've added to my template unless I'm on looking at it on my machine (which leads me to believe that they are just cached on my system...it's hard to try to be your own webmaster when your horsing around during your spare time at work.

UGH - I ate Krispy Kreme today - that has to merit at least 3 extra sets of stomach at the gym tonight.

This town is grey and dreary again - man, I want to be back in the Arizona sunshine with my boy.

OK - I'm happy to say I was a hit with Mom and Sis...have I sealed the deal as the perfect son-in-law - nah, doubt it - guess I feel like I'll always be walking on egg shells (I mean do they even comprehend what I do to their son behind closed doors??), I imagine that his mom thinks that we sleep in seperate beds ala Ricki and Lucy.

The sister still doesn't know the purpose of meeting me - she thinks I'm his buddy. The best part though was when she told her mother that she suspected that my boyfriend's roomate was 'gay', when the mother inquired about me - she said "Oh God no - there's no way that he's gay".

Hmmmm - if she only realized I went shopping hours before to have the 'just right' look for the perfect S.I.L. (in this case - worn Big Star Jeans, a plain A&F shirt and Red-Striped Adidas Sneaks...I looked like I had just gotten done with my paper route).

Do straight guys freak out this much when they meet their girlfriends parents ?

Wow - do I feel duped

Taking off for AZ today so I hit the gym in the morning instead of my usual night routine - I must, MUST state this workout etiquette pet peeve - please, PLEASE do not work out with equipment that you feel a need to take 10 minute breaks from between each set .

Ahhhhhh......Blogger-venting had helped me escape a murder rap - thank you for listening. We now return to the regular scheduled show "Blossom".

testing, testy, testing....ok, I'll test a little bit more.

OK - maybe I'm just the biggest kid, but it's so cool when people first start checking in with you and letting you know they've checked your shit out - I feel like I show break out in Olive's - Your Not Alone (but preferably the remix with Rozaella's "Everybody Free" sampled in).... *grins*

I gotta admit - I think I'm gonna make Jonno my new ideal - it's a nice start to my day-to-day life in advertising to see his take on life.

Alrighty 24 hours and counting and I'll be back home in AZ with my boy (INSERT HERE: Yahoo scream). His Mom is in town from Jersey (JUR-ZEEE) and this will be the second time I've met her. I have more then a little trepidation since his father (a big wig back east) recently commented that my boy's homosexuality wasn't upsetting to him as long as he lived it 3,000 miles away (yep, these are my new in-laws: I think I'm playing the role of Dharma - but butcher - and he Greg - but definately hotter!).

It's not that I can't appreciate the situation, but I waged the struggle of my sexuality at such a young age (sex with boys @ 12, first boyfriend @ 14, came out @ 16) not because I had to, or didn't fit in, but just because I wanted to be exactly who I was - no pretending. My boy didn't take this route and though we are both at the same age (31), the paths have been completely different. My sexuality is in the world of non-issues now (kinda like Tina Yothers career - ok, but ya gottta admit she's alot cuter now).

Is it terrible for me to think - just once can I have a boyfriends parents not shrink into the corner when I walk in the room? For once in my life could the guy with the BLBITW (Best Little Boy In The World ) complex get to be the Best Little Son-in-Law in the World ?

I know if the answer was giving up Lucky (my nickname for him - since it's the way he makes me feel) - the answer would be a resounding "no". Ofta! Well wish me luck - I probably won't post til I'm back. *grins*

OK - I don't consider myself to be a girly guy by any means but I checked out "Living Colors" and was torn apart by Kaycee Nicoles last posting.

So many amazingly diverse and unique voices and stories out there waiting to be heard (life, the web, down the street) - it really is frigging cool that blogger brings them together for a chance to chant in unison.

Definitely gives you a kick in the ass that says "appreciate" and "live" life. No more "shoulds" and alot more "coulds" are in line for us all...

ok - just testing different settings.

Morning.
Milwaukee comes up with the most fabulous shades of grey (kidding). Hitting Phoenix this weekend to see my boy - meet the family. Not sure how to come off - I mean is the perfect son-in-law: confident and serious, humorous and warm, strong and masculine or quiet and reserved ?

I guess I can be all of theses things if needed but it would be fun to just kick back a beer and tell a campy joke and just laugh with them. My boy would KILL me - he made me promise to tell them I was a Christian if they asked (I am believer only in faith - it's a good thing, it recognizes that there must be something going on on a grander scale just doesn't tie itself down with all the rhetoric and story telling and guilt). Should be fun (INSERT HERE: grain of salt).

Huge party in Phoenix on Saturday with DJ Abel spinning - will be fun to get my groove on with my boy in the sun.
Cheers!

OK - pure brillance in giving away my full name, I am Kurt's sense of total embarassment. Oh well. I'll get a hang of all this yet.

"Lay down with dogs and wake up with fleas"....who the hell uttered that phrase anyway.

OK - I'm in bed with y'all now.

Truly it was only a matter of time, creeping, sneaking, hiding around deliciously devouring the blogs of Jonno and Jocko and TinMan. Feels so weird to work my way around inside the workings of anothers mind. I hit the blogs of the regular community (INSERT HERE: image of happy or distressed heterosexual ), but lets face it, interests are interests - and mine would be men (I wanted to say boys - but would be worried of anyone confusing my use of that word for any male underdeveloped, underdefined, undertheirparentsroof and under 21).


Not sure what to blog, why to blog, how to blog - so I will go the stream of conscious route, if you come across me let me know your there.

I'll throw away this template and put up my own site for this, but for now I would basically be handed out a resume and a calling card to you if I linked this up with my personal site.

I'll come up with some pics, it'll probably sell better tickets if you think I'm cute - I guess I am - but sure like hearing "woof" alot more.

My Stats

• NAME: not telling (it's gonna keep me a hell of a lot more honest if I keep that between me and my dog)
  
• LOOKS: Good looking (in a guy way - does that make any sense?), muscular, cheshire cat grin - definately not pretty boy band material.
  Hair - Brown/Red
  Facial Hair - Goatee (well kinda, I chopped the mustache)
  
  Eyes - Brown, Green if ya piss me off
  Height - 5'8" (I'm willing to debate if that means short or average)
  Weight - 155lbs (8% body fat and now that I'm 31- fighting to keep it that way)
  
• JOB: I have a pretty good job in Advertising, but it lead me to Milwaukee, Wisconsin - if fat, pale, Lutherans devouring Brats during a Packers game turn ya on - don't deny yourself a visit.
  
• EDUCATION: I graduated with my BS in Marketing from ASU, gotta admit college was one of the greatest times of my life.
  
• MARITAL STATUS: I'm 2,000 miles from the man I love: my best friend, my soul mate, my conspirator, my buddy. He's a beautiful man inside and out. woof! We're going on 1 year and nine months (nine of them seperate). True love or a damn good facsimile there of has kept us together (INSERT HERE : I'm lucky)
  
• BELIEFS: I think once I start posting you'll be able to figure it out - up front: being a great friend never fails to have pay-off, I treat my friends with the care, love, protection, concern and adoration I would intend to treat my first child and I have seen in some of life's roughest moments I was smart to do so.
  
• INTERESTS: Ok - I'll tackle this quick:
  Movies - Gotta be indie or foreign, love Almodovar
  Music - Dance, Electronica, though my heart belongs to EBTG long, long before they had to become popular as an acronym (I stood 4 feet from Ben Watt last Sunday at a Lazy Dog show and didnt have the guts to walk up an say I owned every CD ever involving he and Tracy - including the Cherry Hill - "Pillows & Prayers" singles releases". Embarrassed freak - party of one)
  Food - Thai and Italian are weaknesses.
  Athletics - Dad sure was, Brother sure is, I just always ended up looking retarded - perhaps there is some psyche here to why I ended up the gym bunny and in far party shape then either. I do love being a spectator to the NFL though - no not the Packers, but the Vikings.
  
  Sex Love it, and have no masculine hangups about playing "pitcher" or "catcher".
  
• PARTYING: I'm not a straight out Circuit Boy, but hey like I said before "interests are interests", for those who go I'm really looking forward to GayDay in Disneyworld - it will be amazing. Pumpkinhead and Fireball in Chicago were the best (thank god for the quick 1.5 hour drive)
  
• SMOKING: hey light up if you need to - but damn I hate that funk smell on my clothes when I get home from a club, if I want to feel dirty I'll do something naughty instead.
  
  
  Alright I'm done for now. Hope to blog with you again real soon.