Friday, February 22, 2002

From the time I was a precocious, little youngster - to rebellious, idealistic teenager - to full-blown "not always exciting" adulthood I have envisioned shaping my life through the choice of many dream careers and professions.

The question "What are YOU going to be when you grow up?" was never lost on me, never silent, a combination of aspiration, enthusiasm and Torrets would come spewing forth with answers like the following:

Age 4-6: Fireman - well now I just want to sleep with one and wear the uniforms.

Age 7-10: Superhero - of course my super powers were "super human strength" and "x-ray vision"...sigh, I still want to be a Superhero - of course at 32 I feel a little uncomfortable wearing tights.

Age 11-12: World Renowned Chef - the problem is I only "really" enjoyed making party platters and hor-deurves, damned to be a "Hostess"

Age 13-15: Wall Street Stock Broker - I had way too much time on my hands envisioning myself as the real "Alex P. Keaton"

Age 16-19: Free-Lance Journalist covering World Events - I was going to cover the world as it changed and evolved, thus helping others to change and evolve.

Age 20-32: Businessman - I just wanted to be able to pay back my student loans.

Present: A happy, productive, caring, generous human.

I bring all this up now because I spent the last few years of high school and first two years of community college wanting nothing more than to be a journalist - what I saw as a combination of gung-ho hero, altruist, rebel, scholar, peacekeeper and enlightened soul. Night after night my mother would cut out articles about journalists being kidnapped, tortured and murdered - "this will be your fate" she would worriedly exclaim. But If you can remember how strongly you felt things (the things you truly first BELIEVED in those early years of adulthood) - you'll understand why I so wanted to pursue that dream despite my parents wishes, and then how last night the tears welled up in the corners of my eyes when I heard they had slit Daniel Pearls throat.

No "cause" is better than another "cause"

No"religion" is more justified in it's barbaric actions than another "religion" - barbaric actions are just that BARBARIC.

If "there's" is the "WRONG/EVIL" side and "yours" is the "RIGHT/GOOD" side, than easily when you stand in "their" shoes it's just the exact opposite

Let's face it - murder is murder - truth like that is simple.

Thursday, February 21, 2002

....i'm curious - when the fuck did it become the 21st of February ???
Suddenly the next big holidays are Easter, Memorial Day, July 4th (the first two relative to circuit parties - White Party & IML and the last my loving boyfriends birthday)....but I mean "Hey SLOW DOWN already!".....

I thought it was just yesterday I was packing up 30 years of my life to move away to pursue the pinnacle of my professional success in Milwaukee, NOPE, yesterday turned out to be a gut-wrenching (but short lived break-up with the love of my life as a 2000 mile distance crushed our resolve), OOPS, NO AGAIN, yesterday was one of the most special conversations of my life where Lucky & I realized we could only possibly envision growing old with each other, OR - HOLD IT! - NO, yesterday was the sad, downward-spiralling of my life as I was laid off from a job for the first time in my life and I moved 2000 miles across the country (leaving so many new and absolutely wonderful friends behind) to move in with my boyfriend.....but, NO, as of TODAY, Yesterday has changed AGAIN, and seems to keep changing at a dizzying speed.

Guess it just makes me wonder what TOMORROW is going to be all about ?

Monday, February 18, 2002

my lobsterNot sure I understand specifically what Chris was doing with his tongue here

What a terrificly fun weekend of friends, substance abuse, dancing, substance abuse, flirting, substance abuse, sex...well you get the picture. I can't believe I'm at work - I am so sneaking out of here early (since the boss is wandering the streets of Serrento, Italy looking for pizza and afternoon movie or Bloody Mary with friends may be in order).
Had a really enjoyable breakfast with everyones favorite anagram - encorswish. You have to spend time with Chris to know how much fun he is - and later we took him back to our place and did him doggy-style (just joking - wink-wink, nugde-nudge).
Trying to recover from a great weekend and sapped energy - where are mothers miracle pills - hmmmm?