Saturday, May 14, 2005 here it is....once again...what am I blogging about...when I started doing this back in 2001 - Crap that's frigging 4 years ago, I think I wanted to reach out, wanted to meet people - I was living in Milwaukee, working in Advertising and was bored. Then it steamrolled into an opportunity to chronicle a time of huge transition in my my life with wonderful highs and some devastating lows...and then it stopped. Valid reasons.grief.pain.some fucking dark, dark days. I disappeared for almost a year trying to straighten out my head and to move on. Then I started again but in the most tumultuous - and still it be - time of my professional life.

So it became harder and harder to write....but somehow I still haven't lost the need for this form of expression, so I still come back to write. But now more fear lurks, because now "blogging" is a water cooler word and you wonder what deck of cards does my blog sit upon.

I try to keep growing and improving, timeouts from drinking and partying and now maybe more than ever in the last few weeks - a desire to pull it all back in and create a tighter, more structured and reliable existence. See - I'm much more fun when I'm being bad - but I'm 35 and I'm starting to spend more time thinking about the foundation that I've built than what color to paint the trim.