Saturday, October 19, 2002

i adore and worship you for many reasons but particularly for being able to drop words like "disambiguate" into your blog without falling over - I tripped over the word three times...would you pick me up ? hurts - cut it off, no my head - just fucking cut it off.

It's been a while since I woke up and thought "Shit!" - What did I do or say to people last night ? I was out with a lot of people/friends...but I kept wandering away from them and having these immensely intense conversations - I talked to hot daddy Dave forever. It must be ironic to be drunk and have an intense conversation with a recovering alcoholic about alcoholism - or more or less whats behind it. Invariably parents. I talked to TP for quite a while about our friendship and why did he let it go south - I could see the jealousy in his eyes when I brought up Lucky - and I realize why he let it go south. I have a hard time keeping real friends in the real world. And then I ran into "Tigger" - such a little cutie - I pretty sure I said something dreadful to his friend about when I used to fuck the shit out of him, and then I pulled a total "ghost" and snuck out of the bar without telling anyone I was leaving, I felt dreadfully buzzed and just wanted to be in bed. Forgot to call the boyfriend when I got home - might be in a little bit of trouble for that today. I called him at 630am to apologize. messy, messy, messy.......

Thursday, October 17, 2002

....i keep thinking maybe I should go out tonight. don't know why - i'm in my trouble-maker mood. Mr. Jeans and a t-shirt today - I always find it odd (because it really doesn't happen often) that women cruise me - but when I'm Mr. Jeans (and a t-shirt) they always dig my shit. Actually the 19 year old hispanic boy who followed me to the bathroom and began rubbing his really impressive cock at the urinal next to me while i tried ever so hard - no pun intended (ok there's always a pun - intended) - also dug the look - but alas I'm married again and just had to button it up - quickly - because it was filling with blood - QUICKLY - and high tail it out there. I bought a bunch of great kick around shirts today - the ones you wear to coffee with your hair all messed up, or to get the newspaper, or to pick someone up at the airport...but all the while knowing you don't look like a freak but instead look quite sexy. My working out is paying off - Chest 42.5", Biceps 16.5" - 180lbs firm. I had the barber shave my head today - fuck it I'm going bald - I know it - you know it - we all know it - it's all good - I kept about 3/4 inch up top - but then you can see all the scars from when I was struck in the head with a baseball bat at 2 years of age (man everything I say sounds white trash doesn't it) Very, very busy at work - but for me that means $$$. Agreed to a price on the house, prequalified - it's all mine - wow, it's mine. I want to blow down walls and continue my landscaping - I want to buy everything I see in the 'Restoration' catalog - but instead I [paid off my last credit card with a balance (there's something very sexy about the number 'ZERO', especially when it's associated with the word - balance). Taking my boy to see 'Angels in America Part I' this weekend - he's never seen it. Then next month I'm taking him and friends to see "Dralion - Cirque de Soleil", and then in December "Tori Amos" - I'm trying to break away from the same old - same old. I bought him a beautiful White Star Mont Blanc to celebrate his new career - I like to spoil him, I secretly relish being the provider. Oh I'm so sickly 50's sometimes...

Monday, October 14, 2002

...another trip to Borders for music (i know, i know - i really need to start shopping at the independents again) :

  • Lazy Dog Vol. 1 & 2 (Ben Watt & Jay Hannan)....shake your ass, swing your head, give way to your groving feet
  • Concrete Love (Julie Fordham)...cry, sing, cry, sing - let's watch a sunset and smoke a joint
  • Beneath the Surface (Balligomingo)...pretty, pretty, pretty and very danceable
  • Idlewild (EBTG)... this is the 7th time in 14 years I have purchased this album - where does it take off to?)
  • Magnolia (Soundtrack, Aimee Mann)...another album I have owned and lost - what gives pick pockets in my house ?

    You wanna come over and cuddle with me and the dog and listen to some tunes ?