I've been digging through the past lately and dredged up another photo that well, you see for yourself, man I look like I was gonna grow up gay. I'm not sure if my unique style was a knock off of "Chachi" from "Happy Days" & "Joannie Loves Chachi" or if I was auditioning for Jodie Fosters role in the gay remake of Taxi Driver

Gearing up for Chicago Pride...wish I felt more excited, I'm broke, a bit harried and have a ton of things I want to get done before the boyfriend comes in town next week. I have to go though - if for no other reason then it's my buddy Dan's birthday and I would never let him down. It's embarrassing to admit I'm also a little sucker-paw (my best friend Patrick's word for 'sad') that I'm off partying for a while. You get that sudden pang of fear that you won't have "as good" a time as everyone else, or that your friends will be in a different place then you (INSERT HERE: friends dreamy gaze, caressing hand and "Wow isn't this GREAT, isn't this SPACE/DJ/CROWD BEAUTIFUL" and me staring blankly going "Oh, um, yeah sure" then politely turn friend - who is facing the wall - around towards the dance floor).
Oh well - I'm wearing my big boy pants this weekend and will have as much fun as I can.

I've been thinking about my comment about not being 21 anymore (in yesterdays blog) and started looking back through the old photo's - here's me at 20, the pic looks like it was taken in 1953 or something doesn't it?

I'll be 32 this year. Wow. How did that happen? I can tell ya - I don't think I'm but a faint whisper of the kid in this photo - of course looking at how skinny I was back then maybe that was all I was, was a faint whisper. I have another bad-ass one of me in a leather jacket (21) that will dismiss how wholesome this picture makes me look, of course it explains thoroughly why my favorite book at the time was "The Best Little Boy in the World" by Andrew Tobias. Of course getting in to my need to always be the perfect son, boyfriend, friend, employee, etc. is a shrink lesson for another time ;)

Welcome.

It was a shitty, shitty day my friends - a cornocupia of stess and concern - shout outs go to my boyfriend, the love of my life - who helped me weather the storm, who made me feel loved even when I felt like losing it - thank you, everything I have ever done good to another human being, every unselfish minute, every kind word - has been refunded to me ten-fold in your presence in my life (if you think I typed to the end of that sentence without my eyes welling up tears, then well you don't know me half as well as I think you do - you make me feel lucky, Lucky)....anyway...I went to Depeche Mode tonight - shit, did I feel like the reminder that I'm not a 21 year old twinkie with a 28 inch waist anymore - no, not really. But I can tell you DM isn't the same anymore - now the are just some guys trying to pay for retirement - 2 encores and no "Somebody" - fuck that shit - I was robbed.

Didn't like the new look - pulled it back down - gonna keep it in my pants for a bit.

OK - Mermaniac is begging door-to-door, blog-to-blog for money, dinero, lettuce, cold cash (I suspect a pyramid scheme involving Charlene Tilton from 'Dallas' fame, but gosh darn'it he's so damn suave!)...the following may or may not be things that Bill promised me in a letter for my support:

• to remove the word "because" from the English language (I have my reasons for endorsing this)
  
• to reenact Shelly Winter's death scene in the 1972 classic 'Poseidon Adventure' - naked, online and hungry.
  
• to be the next spokesmodel for 'No Excuses' Jeans.
  
• to make the whole world smile (kinda like a Coca-Cola beverage).
  

If Bill pretends that he had nothing to do with this list - he's being humble. Give the guy a hug.

Awnry & Irish: Rules of Conduct at the Gym

1. If in any way you resemble a bear (Grizzly, Kodiak, Black, Brown or CellBlock), please refrain from floating "belly-up" in the YMCA whirlpool - it is alarming to those of us walking by.
   
2. Workout benches are just that "benches for people working out", I can see confusing that with "the resting bench, the chatting bench, the reading bench and my favorite - 'the staring bench'' " - but please not during my workout.
   
3. If you would like to work in, just say 'Hey buddy, can I work in', if you don't speak - I won't ask and I will add on extra set to watch you squirm.
   
4. Flirting at the gym can be fun, even appreciated to let you know all the hard work is paying off - well of course I mean for single guys (wink, wink), staring and brushing the inside of your thigh is creepy - remember I live in Milwaukee - you may be a friend of Jeffrey Dahmer and I don't want to be Holden-on-a-Stick.
   
5. If the exercise I am doing looks that tricky while I am doing it - walking up to me "while" I am doing it and asking "Wow - that looks tricky - how do you that" will result in me growling like an angry, junk-yard dog (hint: if it looks tricky, it is and requires my concentration).
   
6. Please do not leave your gym towels just laying all over the gym, I have a very healthy body and leave towels laying around my apartment about three times a day after "personal use", when I see an entire YMCA covered with used towels I start looking for the hidden adult theater.
   
   
   Man I'm gonna make a great crabby old man! ;)
   
   

Bloggus Interruptus

A little doped on wine and a little sentimental after watching Queer as Folk - it had to be the wine but I was actually stirred emotionally by last night's episode (as opposed to that "I'm now embarrassed to be gay" episode from last week) - I wrote a sensational blog last night called 'A Love Story'. I laid out in embarrassing-gushy-heartfelt detail one of my utmost favorite stories of all time, "How I met my Boy". I like to get drunk and tell this one at bars and embarrass my boy (Lucky).

"Wow" you say that sounds like a real page turner, kinda like "Where the Red Fern Grows" but not set in 1930's Oklahoma, there is no "Coon Hunting" (though I love a 50% off sale at Kenneth Cole) and instead of a boy and his two hunting dogs, it's just two cute homo's having mind-blowing sex and falling head over heels in love.

Well what do they teach you your entire life in school - "Save, Save often". I hadn't even temporarily posted my epic when I moved my laptop from "my lap" and went to shut the window (it was raining) and pulled the cable out of the PCMCIA modem. Shit. AOL shuts down and when I come back to my Blogger the insidious had occurred - a masterpiece was lost!

Oh well - I'm gonna sulk about this for a day or two and then when you least expect it - BAM!!! Right across the kisser.

I have to share this because it made my weekend. Queerscribe, a brillant writer, intellectual and a sweetheart in an email commented on my writing style: "...I love your self-reflexive long-windedness, your humor". I immediately called my boyfriend and asked what he thought to have him respond "Finally (pause), someone understands you".
Excellent!

Once again I have been innocently lead in to the treacherous entrapments of yet another dreadful Horror movie. Where -oh where, did I begin this fascination with Horror movies ? I mean I remember tearing through my chores as quickly as possible as a young 8 year-old boy in Upper Darby, PA. - wanting nothing more to flick on my very own 13" B&W Panasonic television set, pull close to the TV, while devouring a PBJ&P (I'm afraid that extra 'P' stood for pickles) and watch Saturday's "Creature Double Feature" (Jonno - can I use the apostrophe there - it seems that Saturday can show possession of the time slot of a show, n'est pas ?). Now though - I find myself intrigued by just about any slasher/horror/blood-letting horror movie that comes my way (DISCLAIMER: I am not a mainstream movie guy, I'm a freak for art house and my favorite all time movies include "Six Degrees of Seperation", "The Mission", "Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels", "Shallow Grave" & "Blood Simple" - so this horror thing is more akin to a fetish) and this time do you know what lured me in ??

An Australian Slasher film with two noteworthy names in the title: Kylie Minogue and Molly Ringwold, what was a Horror movie loving queer to do ??? I. Was. Helpless.

Plot:

It's been fifteen years since the director of the ill-fated horror flick HOT BLOODED was mysteriously and brutally murdered. Since then, the film has remained unfinished and sealed away. However, a young group of aspiring filmmakers and horror enthusiasts have seized the opportunity to complete the legendary film, and begin to film once again on location. But there was a reason the movie was never finished, and as students begin to disappear, the filmmakers begin to discover why.

I think I have officially established that not all my weekends are circuit parties, and for that fact, even the least bit exciting.
Alrighty I would love to write more but I just heard about a great sci-fi flick starring Richard Greico, Corey Feldman & Kajagoogoo.