Friday, August 02, 2002 Chris and I started talking about how I cant take sexy pics of myself unless I'm a little buzzed, and this whole nipple pic thing and then the pics on this dear boys site - set me in motion to go maybe a step above or a side so, um , yeah, here ya go - me bored on a Friday night:

Am I going to hell for this?

Begin the water-cooler chit-chat.....uh, now.
ok - not one to be left out, but not wanting my head cut off - sorry Greg, it's part of the package. :)

I give you my nipples:

I prefer biting to pulling
5 Truths and 1 Lie : Revisited

  • I once dated a US Olympic Speed Skating Coach. His legs and ass are still among the most amazing I've ever seen.
  • Two of the guys I have dated have ended up in multiple porns and 1 in Playgirl.
  • I was taught how to make a martini when I was 6.
  • I am an agnostic.
  • I have dent in my head from when I was struck in the head with a baseball bat when I was two.
  • Even though I managed a 4.0 in every class I took in college, I flunked Calculus three times, getting me so worked up that I would either cry or vomit before exams - because I just couldn't get it. this may seem shocking and I'm not giving any details yet, but I went on my first date last night - a simple dinner at a good restaurant - an incredibly deep and intellectual conversation and then a drink a Merc - afterwards. No sex, I didn't promise a second, it wasn't hell, I didn't open a wound a the wrist.

That's all I'm saying.

Thursday, August 01, 2002

and by the way Chicago-area Bloggers be warned - I just confirmed my flights for 'Market Days' and my big 33rd Bday.....1 week and counting til I start having cheap, 1 night stand sex again...woo-hoo.
Advice 101 : A good buddy, one who has always been a touch stone in my life - told me today that his distance over the past few months is because he found out he tested positive. What is the ettiquite of the reaction to the statement ?? I didnt and dont know. I wanted to cry. But I just let him talk til he seemed like he didn't need to talk anymore. Then I just said "Hey - I love you". And then he turned the subject to my break-up and we moved on, but I feel like I fumbled the ball somehow - there was something missing in my reaction...but what? you ever go to "expose" yourself to one of your friends or a new "interest" - I mean heart/soul/intellect here gutter-minded boyz (you know who you are *smirk*), and you fumble and stumble and tumble...and then your just kinda staring each other and there's this painful stabbing sensation in your head that says:

"I'm pretty sure by my explanation that this person thinks that I am a Satanist, masturbate to swedish kiddie porn, have had sex with livestock, yarn and the Ziegfried Follies and run naked covered in yams at midnight to find myself"

...uh, this was not the "self" I was hoping to expose.

Maybe I just sound better on paper.

Tuesday, July 30, 2002

ok - is it me, or my computer, but everytime I post lately I get "one chance" spell-checking, grammar be damned - every time I use the Blogger 'Edit' function and correct typographical errors the screen goes blank - anyone elses having this problem ?
I've become waaaaaaaaaay too much of a movie addict lately, but with the combination of a 65 inch TV (Yes, sometimes, size does matter) and the 6.1 surround sound I just can't get enough of my little "Movie Mayhem" get-away nights lately....though I admit I really need to lay off the kitty vision - I'm starting to lose touch with reality and my dog is looking at me funny, or maybe I'm starting to look funny and the dog is losing touch with reality - whatever ? But in all of the movies I have digested this weekend and weeknights I can't tell you how blown away I was by The Devils Backbone by Gullerimo Del Toro y Pedro Almodovar....storytelling at it's best for sure. And I love a good ghost story to boot (and I didnt mind the hot sexy latin bad guy either)....I also rewatched and re-fell-in-love-with "The Ice Storm" by Ang Lee (really cant get how one goes from this haunting and amazing look at the complexities of life, growing up, becoming and staying sexual to the 'The Hulk' but oh well - god knows I'm pretty scattered!)...I cried and cried and cried after wtaching this one, took a good half-hour of cuddling with my dog and then of course the whole LOVE BOMB experience the next day, to get over it.

Monday, July 29, 2002

To those who bombed me you know who you are....the feeling is more then mutual...and as for YOU, well I'll pondering the way to bring this love back to you as well...

...pretty sure words can't describe the amount of love that was sent my way today

Sunday, July 28, 2002

....Damn, I gave new meaning to the lyrics of the old Lyold Cole ong "Lost Weekend"....fianlly went to bed arouns 2pm today - cat napped til six and then made soup. (It's good for the soul)....I was the offensive party boy this weeekend Connie, Kitty, Elaine, Valium.....enough numbing to pull off my shirt and shake my ass to the groovy beatys at BOOM... the tattoo is like a beacons amazing how well people have received it. I know the drugs helped my comfort level - but you know what - I WAS ME this weekend, raw, flirtatious, sexual, primal, funny - ME. I turned heads that had seen me a thousand times before - why now I wonder - why now to you fidnsome mystique to me. How hard to be the "Single Friend" - there werre smiles and touches and possibilities, but in a million years I couldn't even consider bedding someone down - ironic - my dick wants to sooooooooo bad, but intstead I give hugs, amybe a peck on the cheek and mheart skips a beat wonder what the first time will be like. I was reckless and wrong, a force to be wreackoned with - a quiet storm building off the eastern front - I held an air of melancholy that may - or may not have made me more's all so odd ya know. this new place.... singledom.

I thought about correcting all the grmmatical/seplling errors - but hey - what the fuck, right?