things you realize about yourself only much later in life:

• Your first "crush" would not really be the most painful heartache of all
  
• Dogs trust you unequivocably, you feel the same depending on whats laying on the floor at the time
  
• 95% of the time, YOU are the best "handjob" you've ever had
  
• You didn't drive your Mother to drink, I mean SHIT you didn't even have a license for the first 16 years...
  
• Talking about sex makes your Parents nervous, thinking about your Parents "having" sex makes you queasy
  
• Legos were the coolest toy EVER
  
• You should thank your parents every day of your life that they got you potty-trained - can you imagine going on a blind date in a diaper???
  
• One day you will fall in love, one day you will find "the one", there is someone for everyone (thank GOD, you never got that tattoo for Valentines Day when you were 22 !!)
  
• Talking dirty is not only fun, but for some it makes the Kama Sutra seem like a Easy-Bake Oven Cookbook
  
• You will be happy, you will smile again, life really is a wonderous, beautiful gift to us all

sniff-sniff, I'm kinda choked up...

I've fallen in love....
She's black
She's furry
She weighs 10lbs
She poops
She pees
She tumbles
She rolls on her belly and wiggles tell she's rubbed
I LOVE HER

now I really have no spare time to write - I'm a father to a beguiling, black lab named 'BABY'

the corporate interview went incredible. the old man wants me to consider taking over his business in a year...all this glamour and I'm still doing this admin stuff for cash under the table.