Thursday, May 31, 2001

Alrighty - need to climb in the car and hit the road for Chi-town, then off to Orlando. No posts til I get back......I'll be going crazy wondering what's up with the boyz of the blog (maybe we need to have a calendar made)....Blogstalker, buddy - your own my mind - please be good to yourself.

Have a great weekend friends. Aista!
chowing down on Panda Express and listening to Cafe Del Mar Vol. 7 - work, well, been there done that - Interactive Business Plan - DONE!...Partners thrilled (INSERT HERE: some grunting, some scratching and then a loud slam dunk performed by the venerable Shaq - well not revered for acting or rapping.

Just had a very fun lunch adventure down town with my girl (let's call her) L-Train...kinda concerned - we were scamming guys and I pointed out a very handsome daddy who combined ruggedness, class, sexuality and intelligent (oh be still my fragile heart) and she cooed with agreement and then said, "You're like having a sister" - uh-oh.

I mean I know she meant well, but hey can't I be "like a hot brother who likes good-looking men"?

Oh well - I'll roll with it.

Pressure and stress is befalling my vacation before I have even left - Cal Ripken is stuck in Detroit - Cal was supposed to fly out of O'Hare with me, so now I get to drive down to Chicago (but first swing by his house and get his bags and the event tickets) and fly to Orlando tonight by myself. My Boy doesn't get in til 7am tomorrow (poor guy is taking a really shitty red-eye) - so thus I am alone in Orlando tonight.

So hey if you see a cute little sparkplug of a guy in a light blue v-neck, short brown/red hair and goatee, wandering the streets of Orlando aimlessly - don't be afraid to give him a hug - he's gonna be feeling pretty lonely.

Wednesday, May 30, 2001

PS - I added ReBlogger, so we can all share again....thanks to Tinman and to the code creator Jesse Malone
Hmmm - auditions anyone:

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): "I need moral support, artistic mentors, loyal friends, and spiritual leaders," writes Hannah J., a Leo reader from Philadelphia, "and I need them NOW!" On the other hand, there's Eric G., a Leo reader from Halifax, Nova Scotia. "Amazingly enough, I really do have all the help I need," he claims. "What I want next are more constructive critics, good competitors who fight fair, loved ones who don't automatically think every thing I do is perfect, and enemies who inspire me to become better." I have good news for all you Leos: In the coming weeks, you'll have abundant opportunities to benefit from the influences that both Hannah and Eric seek.

Source: Robert Brezsny
ok - I was a posting fiend yesterday (Black Tuesday), so it's Wednesday and I'm in meetings all day (must work, want to Blog, must work, want to Blog)....

A little stressed - have to pack for Orlando , work out, hit a work softball game and so much more before I fly out of O'Hare tomorrow - (INSERT HERE: Hanging with my BOY *sigh, gulp, lust, love* and he's meeting my favorite buddy in Chi-Town - let's name him Cal Ripken - daddy, daddy, daddy...PRAYER: please make friends you are both too important to me to fight)

Hey am I the only one whose noticed touring the world of Blogs that Jonno has become like a blog "heartthrob" ?? (INSERT HERE: Manly Swoon followed by mention that ssssTurtle is a hottie to boot)

Blogstalker - I eagerly await the inventory of the contents of your refrigerator ;)

Tuesday, May 29, 2001

wow - when I mentioned getting lost I must have meant it. Must be the heavy levels of seratonin depleted this weekend. Hmmm - started tripping-skipping-sipping through the blog files around 5pm - I should be at the gym....shirtless circumstances are calling this weekend (but ugh, the vanity get's old - but shit I'm getting older - so as I said - I really, REALLY should be at the gym)....

....nope, still here (ok, so if I skip the gym two days in a row what's the worst that will happen ?)

I like being in the office at this time of night though - twilight is finally bringing an amber hue to the city, from my office I can see Lake Michigan, the 100 year old apartment building I live in and the other buildings of downtown Milwaukee.

Here's what's tickling my thought pattern tonight:

How do I react the first time someone put's two-and-two together to who I am off of this site ? I mean I feel this perverse desire to connect with my fellow bloggers but what of the lurkers (I used to be one) - I want to say more here: how much I want to move back to AZ and plan to soon, that suddenly my dream job has become as fulfilling as a helium, that I miss and love my boyfriend with everything in me - but still feel lust in my bones for the boys in Boystown, that I can be both the most sentimental fucker you ever met, the kindest and the most arrogant in the same breath, but I have to admit I worry about a co-worker stumbling upon this (early on before I starting blogging I was way too vocal about what a great concept I thought this was), or an ex, or an enemy (I really don't think I have any but there are two absolutes in life: somewhere there is someone who loves you and just can't help feeling that way AND somewhere there is someone who hates you and just can't help feeling that way)

I mean I'm starting to give way to adding pics of me - I can't be stupid - I'm making it easier to put it all together - but I feel this need to open up a little more to my fellow bloggers that have made efforts to bring me in to their world.

Hmmm kinda a whiny entry...OK, so here's the deal - if you read this and you think, hey I KNOW Holden - remember you've climbed inside my head by stepping into this web site - be careful with it's contents - the owner of them deems them valuable.
do you ever get a little lost when reading other peoples Blogs?

I mean working on a project (in my case a interactive business plan and timeline for a client) and suddenly thinking - oh crap I haven't gotten my daily fill of Everlasting Blogstalker, Jonno, or Jockohomo.
You tootle (is that really a word?) over to their Blogs and just kinda get lost. You read, you think, you feel this affinities to people you wouldn't even recognize on the street - they make you feel, dare, dream, sing, speak - whatever your outlet...and suddenly your looking at the clock and your unfinished business plan and your like crap - where did I go for the past hour (INSERT HERE: overwhelming sense of Irish Protestant Work Ethic Guilt).

For some reason I can't get myself to blog at home, I hate doing this on my laptop, the 56k connection is a drag on my patience, I'm never home, I'm at the gym, I'm abusing myself (yeah - I mean what ya think).

Hmmmm maybe my blog has become my frustrated professional release from my job - and maybe more so reading everyone else's blogs has become my escape from my day-to-day life in Milwaukee.

Ok - now I really should be getting back to work.
Wow - feel at a loss, haven't blogged in days. Crazy weekend in Chicago for IML (International Male Leather), I have to admit there is truth in the phrase "too much of a good thing" - I could really do without seeing a harness or chaps or any leather for awhile. Some of the nicest people around though - very friendly crowd (ok - it could have been E-induced friendliness, but really we were "all" so damn cheerful!)
And the men were truly very, very hot....but never did run into this one
Got my picture snapped for the Chicago Free Press - is fame really just a few steps away ? :)

I wore my Blogger t-shirt to gym - fit pretty snug - looked good but ripped at the collar when I pulled it off - woah is cheap merchandise!

Now I'm leaving for Orlando for GayDay with my boy and of course Mickey - I really can't wait to crash and have a low key weekend everything is kinda crazy right now.

Glad my blog is back. Stories to tell, beans to spill, but really I gotta get to work.