Tuesday, February 12, 2002
Monday, February 11, 2002
Choire one of the demigods (wink-wink, nudge-nudge - girlish daydream style sigh) of the web - finally read Crumpled Dollar Bills .....hmmm such pressure to write something even more memorable.
Saturday, February 09, 2002
.....hmmmmmm, but what does it say about this hangover?
You are a very sensitive person and you try hard - (perhaps a little too hard) - to make favourable impressions and to be recognised by your peers... But you have that inherent need to feel appreciated and admired. You are easily hurt if all of your endeavours go by unappreciated or not acknowledged. stop trying so hard
You are very talented, imaginative and sensitive; but you are holding back as you do not really like going it "on your own"... In preference you would like to team up with someone, someone with similar attributes as your own ... to explore .. to seek out and go perhaps "where no other man has trod before" ... It is the unusual that attracts you and which will give you a sense of excitement and adventure.
"Compromise" is the name of the game at this time...and it is the only way by means of which you can avoid being deprived of the love and affection you so rightly deserve...so soften up a little.. be flexible.
The tension that you are experiencing at this time is perhaps due to physical and/or mental frustration. It would appear that you are not appreciated and as a consequence the situation is most disagreeable. You seek personal recognition and the appreciation of others to compensate for the lack of like minded people with whom to ally yourself. You would like to surrender and merge with others ... but your inherent self-restraint makes it difficult for you to open up. This disturbs you as you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You want to be liked, admired and appreciated for yourself.
You need to be respected as an exceptional individual. This is the only way that you can hope to achieve the status that you wish to achieve. You set yourself very high standards ... and come what may ... you abide by them.
Source Colorgenics
You are a very sensitive person and you try hard - (perhaps a little too hard) - to make favourable impressions and to be recognised by your peers... But you have that inherent need to feel appreciated and admired. You are easily hurt if all of your endeavours go by unappreciated or not acknowledged. stop trying so hard
You are very talented, imaginative and sensitive; but you are holding back as you do not really like going it "on your own"... In preference you would like to team up with someone, someone with similar attributes as your own ... to explore .. to seek out and go perhaps "where no other man has trod before" ... It is the unusual that attracts you and which will give you a sense of excitement and adventure.
"Compromise" is the name of the game at this time...and it is the only way by means of which you can avoid being deprived of the love and affection you so rightly deserve...so soften up a little.. be flexible.
The tension that you are experiencing at this time is perhaps due to physical and/or mental frustration. It would appear that you are not appreciated and as a consequence the situation is most disagreeable. You seek personal recognition and the appreciation of others to compensate for the lack of like minded people with whom to ally yourself. You would like to surrender and merge with others ... but your inherent self-restraint makes it difficult for you to open up. This disturbs you as you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You want to be liked, admired and appreciated for yourself.
You need to be respected as an exceptional individual. This is the only way that you can hope to achieve the status that you wish to achieve. You set yourself very high standards ... and come what may ... you abide by them.
Source Colorgenics
Friday, February 08, 2002
Why, oh why, do these search phrases pull up my site ??
PS - 8LDJ thanks for the emails - i thought you deserved something honest in return ;)
- Hot and Sexy Katie Couric
- baby acrylic sweater
- mary tyler moore bare feet
PS - 8LDJ thanks for the emails - i thought you deserved something honest in return ;)
Wednesday, February 06, 2002
...the last week - actually scratch that - the last year, of my life has made the proverbial "life as a rollercoaster" analogy seem far too tame to capture the ups, the downs, the random whipping about, thrusting forward - then upside down - then rightside again.
Somehow after a summer of professional drought, after many periods - some brief, some not - of complete self doubt - I managed to receive two job offers in one day on Thursday. There was no level of comparison between the two - one corporate, one not. I mulled this one over with as much frivolity as an Ingmar Bergman film.
BUT...I realized something. There are NO unbreakable paths. There are no decisions that will so foreshadow the future of your life that you can never put it back on track again. If you are a resilent, clever, brave and a resourceful individual you will uncover opportunity within all your obstacles.
So I stayed with the non-corporate job (now finally with a defined salary and bonus structure - deep sigh of relief). If it doesn't work out - well - it just doesn't. I'll start over, move on and make my way somewhere else.
It's just nice to be done with it all for now.
Somehow after a summer of professional drought, after many periods - some brief, some not - of complete self doubt - I managed to receive two job offers in one day on Thursday. There was no level of comparison between the two - one corporate, one not. I mulled this one over with as much frivolity as an Ingmar Bergman film.
BUT...I realized something. There are NO unbreakable paths. There are no decisions that will so foreshadow the future of your life that you can never put it back on track again. If you are a resilent, clever, brave and a resourceful individual you will uncover opportunity within all your obstacles.
So I stayed with the non-corporate job (now finally with a defined salary and bonus structure - deep sigh of relief). If it doesn't work out - well - it just doesn't. I'll start over, move on and make my way somewhere else.
It's just nice to be done with it all for now.
Wednesday, January 30, 2002
"Emotional Whirling Dervish seeks Structure, Foundation, Consistency, Normalcy and Security. Enjoys being told what he gets paid and not just getting cash stuffed in his hand (well I mean I enjoy that - but IT's NOT THE AMOUNT WE AGREED ON), willing to engage in extraprofessional relationships if someone better comes along and offers me title, benefits, office, salary and puts it on paper."
hmmmm...does anyone get the hint that I'm becoming increasingly frustrated with my decision to go the non-corporate route??
Hopefully no worries. I think there's a nice corporate job offering blowing in the wind.
hmmmm...does anyone get the hint that I'm becoming increasingly frustrated with my decision to go the non-corporate route??
Hopefully no worries. I think there's a nice corporate job offering blowing in the wind.
Thursday, January 24, 2002
ok - for the person using the following keyword phrase via googles search engine: "Handjob Love"
I'm confused - is this the love of giving handjobs, or are you incapable of expressing love in any way beyond "the handjob" ( If so - your really missing out on how easy it is to say "I love you" when rimming/pounding/fingering another guys ass)
just a thought...
I'm confused - is this the love of giving handjobs, or are you incapable of expressing love in any way beyond "the handjob" ( If so - your really missing out on how easy it is to say "I love you" when rimming/pounding/fingering another guys ass)
just a thought...
Thursday, January 17, 2002
hmmmm...well the counts are coming in and with them "specific" suggestions towards content:
- used underwear (not to be confused with 'soiled')
- rough trade
- Tip O'neil vs. Barney
- Toni Toneil vs. Qwen Stefani
- Quisp cereal (if ever their was a cereal named for gays)
- man-on-man "man-o-man" Loooooooovvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeee
- POOOOOP
- NOOOOOOOOO poop
- (and of course) MORE POOP
Ok - some of these suggestions may be made up - but only those who emailed specific instructions know for sure (wink-wink, nudge-nudge - smack that ass babeeeeeeee)
BTW - if none of the poop story stuff makes sense to you - you my buddy are a newer reader - go here - if you dare. (and - why yes that is a picture of my naked tummy - but alas 6 years have passed - it's fuller and furrier now)
- used underwear (not to be confused with 'soiled')
- rough trade
- Tip O'neil vs. Barney
- Toni Toneil vs. Qwen Stefani
- Quisp cereal (if ever their was a cereal named for gays)
- man-on-man "man-o-man" Loooooooovvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeee
- POOOOOP
- NOOOOOOOOO poop
- (and of course) MORE POOP
Ok - some of these suggestions may be made up - but only those who emailed specific instructions know for sure (wink-wink, nudge-nudge - smack that ass babeeeeeeee)
BTW - if none of the poop story stuff makes sense to you - you my buddy are a newer reader - go here - if you dare. (and - why yes that is a picture of my naked tummy - but alas 6 years have passed - it's fuller and furrier now)
Wednesday, January 16, 2002
ok - let's face it - it's impossible to Blog in this office. Damn - I miss my big private office with the view (oh shit what am I thinking it was a view of downtown Milwaukee!)
I'm finally feeling back into the AZ groove again. Milwaukee seems a distant memory - though it broke my heart on the new "Real World" last night when the token gays (though the boy is adorable in a kick-me-I'm-a-puppy way) went to both Chicago's 'Funky Buddha' and 'Circuit' (i'll piss myself if that get that boy over to 'Cellblock' - mental note: "Gay Real World cast members are always vanilla and never go to leather bars - shame"). I was bumming. Was I really just shaking my ass at those places every Fri/Sat/Sun just 6 months ago ??? I do miss Chicago.
Anyway on the jalapeno-turned-vanilla-domestic lifestyle front (kidding honey) - the hubbie and I went to our first Puppy Obedience School class last night - I think Baby is a les she was kicking all the boy dogs around, pinning them down, biting their necks - where does she learn this shit....uh, oh...yeah good point (I'm still not that vanilla). I don't care how tough you think you are - when you see a room full of puppies - two Golden Retreivers, two Black Labs, one Yellow Lab, Aussie Mix, and some floppy dogs that resembled shrubbery - you just melt.
big girl, big vanilla- sprinkled with jalapeno - girl......
PS - if you haven't checked out the smile on this boy your missing something!
I'm finally feeling back into the AZ groove again. Milwaukee seems a distant memory - though it broke my heart on the new "Real World" last night when the token gays (though the boy is adorable in a kick-me-I'm-a-puppy way) went to both Chicago's 'Funky Buddha' and 'Circuit' (i'll piss myself if that get that boy over to 'Cellblock' - mental note: "Gay Real World cast members are always vanilla and never go to leather bars - shame"). I was bumming. Was I really just shaking my ass at those places every Fri/Sat/Sun just 6 months ago ??? I do miss Chicago.
Anyway on the jalapeno-turned-vanilla-domestic lifestyle front (kidding honey) - the hubbie and I went to our first Puppy Obedience School class last night - I think Baby is a les she was kicking all the boy dogs around, pinning them down, biting their necks - where does she learn this shit....uh, oh...yeah good point (I'm still not that vanilla). I don't care how tough you think you are - when you see a room full of puppies - two Golden Retreivers, two Black Labs, one Yellow Lab, Aussie Mix, and some floppy dogs that resembled shrubbery - you just melt.
big girl, big vanilla- sprinkled with jalapeno - girl......
PS - if you haven't checked out the smile on this boy your missing something!
Thursday, January 10, 2002
despite the flattery I'm suffering from "Blogus-Uninspiredus-Meus" (none of those words are true latin by the way, even "pig"-latin which seems something a guy like me would really be into).
Things I could blog about if I had the increased writing stamina (is there a little blue pill for that too - rapidly pushing excited blood cells to my "other" head):
Hope everyone has forged into 2002 with their boots on the right feet...
Things I could blog about if I had the increased writing stamina (is there a little blue pill for that too - rapidly pushing excited blood cells to my "other" head):
- the speeding ticket I got today. (yes, one of the cops was hot, yes I so wanted him to push me over the back of the car and make me say I was sorry and beg to get out of the ticket - WHY do i think this way - not sure...)
- the "weight gain"...collectively 25 lbs since I moved back to AZ, my buddies from Chicago will be in town next week - they're gonna think I've gone "Bear".
- the gym, no inspiration, going 3 days a week tops - not helping the forementioned.
- the puppy, she brings us more and more joy everyday.
- the boyfriend, thinks are amazingly nice, I feel very married and I'm cool with that.
- the job, accepted the Operations Manager position with Jerry but it's two weeks and we still haven't ironed out the overall salary and commission structure.
Hope everyone has forged into 2002 with their boots on the right feet...
Thursday, December 27, 2001
...the boyfriend gets back in today so I was up at the crack of dawn cleaning - shit I wasn't shocked I grew up to be a whore - but a "domesticated whore" ??? Plus, last night and this morning I was taping porn for the friend who is watching BABY for us while we are in San Diego for New Years - he gets 2 Falcon International, 2 Falcon and 1 Bel Ami - for all the money I've shelled out on porn in my life I never feel exactly guilty duping.
...leave Saturday for San Diego for 4 days of partying and fun to welcome in the New Year - I need the de-stress time. Decided to accept the job with Jerry as the Operations Manager/Associate ....we'll see what he thinks of what I'm asking, should put me quite a bit over what I was even making as a Director (finally get to travel again and come torture, er - uh, I mean - "visit" some of my favorite Bloggers in their respective cities). I think it's time to say goodbye to corporate life and take an opportunity to run the show more my way (INSERT HERE: Me as Mary Tyler Moore throwing my hat up in the air in the big city...."your gonna make it after alllllllll". )
Let's see if I eat these words before 2003)
....There will be no time to post over the next week so I wish everyone a wonderful New Year (especially Jonno, Blogstalker, Encorswish, Jockohomo, Mermaniac, Dewayne and BJ who gave me much needed advice, humor and dirty comments over the past year - you know which one applies to you - when I needed them). Charlie and Jonno - your warmth singlehandedly helped me survive my cold, lonely days in Milwaukee (sincerely - Thank You)...and I would have never even started down this road if it hadn't been for Bill egging me on in the early days. (Sorry I'm not throwing in links but I'm in a rush).
....Happy 2002 gang!
...leave Saturday for San Diego for 4 days of partying and fun to welcome in the New Year - I need the de-stress time. Decided to accept the job with Jerry as the Operations Manager/Associate ....we'll see what he thinks of what I'm asking, should put me quite a bit over what I was even making as a Director (finally get to travel again and come torture, er - uh, I mean - "visit" some of my favorite Bloggers in their respective cities). I think it's time to say goodbye to corporate life and take an opportunity to run the show more my way (INSERT HERE: Me as Mary Tyler Moore throwing my hat up in the air in the big city...."your gonna make it after alllllllll". )
Let's see if I eat these words before 2003)
....There will be no time to post over the next week so I wish everyone a wonderful New Year (especially Jonno, Blogstalker, Encorswish, Jockohomo, Mermaniac, Dewayne and BJ who gave me much needed advice, humor and dirty comments over the past year - you know which one applies to you - when I needed them). Charlie and Jonno - your warmth singlehandedly helped me survive my cold, lonely days in Milwaukee (sincerely - Thank You)...and I would have never even started down this road if it hadn't been for Bill egging me on in the early days. (Sorry I'm not throwing in links but I'm in a rush).
....Happy 2002 gang!
Monday, December 24, 2001
...at work - working on a database project for the boss. Got really toasted last night and was invited to what would have been an extremely hot three-way...but I diligently remembered that I'm taken and stopped flirting before I ended up in boyfriend prison.
...things ended up going really well with the boyfriend and I on our Christmas Friday night. He really surprised me by managing to make every gift about something that geniunely interested me...even got a little teary-eyed - I'm just a big sissy sometimes. Yes - we did "it" in front of the dog...luckily she was really enjoying her bone from Three Dog Bakery and just looked the other way - whew - no doggie therapist yet.
...feeling pretty melancholy with the whole holiday starting today and the boyfriend on the other side of the country, I suddenly seem out of sorts "left to my own devices" (did you start humming the Pet Shop Boys tune when you read that or is it just me and my misplaced pop sensiblities?)
BABY is wandering around the office. Already pooped on the carpet and was quite proud.
alrighty just not feeling clever today...I sincerely wish you all a wonderful Christmas Eve and Day - I hope you have someone close with you tonight and feelings of warmth - both inside and out. Cheers!
...things ended up going really well with the boyfriend and I on our Christmas Friday night. He really surprised me by managing to make every gift about something that geniunely interested me...even got a little teary-eyed - I'm just a big sissy sometimes. Yes - we did "it" in front of the dog...luckily she was really enjoying her bone from Three Dog Bakery and just looked the other way - whew - no doggie therapist yet.
...feeling pretty melancholy with the whole holiday starting today and the boyfriend on the other side of the country, I suddenly seem out of sorts "left to my own devices" (did you start humming the Pet Shop Boys tune when you read that or is it just me and my misplaced pop sensiblities?)
BABY is wandering around the office. Already pooped on the carpet and was quite proud.
alrighty just not feeling clever today...I sincerely wish you all a wonderful Christmas Eve and Day - I hope you have someone close with you tonight and feelings of warmth - both inside and out. Cheers!
Friday, December 21, 2001
...well the boyfriend and I decided to launch into one of those "are-we-really-having-a-fight-about-not-having-a-fight-because-we-were-about-to-have-a-fight" fight's last night, 30 minutes before we left to have dinner with my parents...the stress was complemented by my boyfriend (who yes I love with EVERY fiber of my being) pulling his - "I'm not going to speak to you except in Boolean code (YES/NO), but when you give up trying to engage me in conversation I'm going to look at you and say - so your gonna sulk now??"...this is further complemented by the huge smiles, big hugs attitude every member of my family gets at dinner (the folks took us to Red Lobster - could we appear anymore white trash??) and then after dinner, back in the car, reversion to said previous tactics #1 and #2 (but the upgrade on #2 to the so, you gonna be mad at me all night?? comment.)
2 years, 2 months and our first real Christmas celebration with my family and I was miserable. Not to sure the pup has to worry about seeing anything tonight.
I'm trying to shake it. Tonight is supposed to be "our" Christmas and since I was in Milwaukee last year, this will only be our second Christmas together. But I haven't shook it yet. I haven't wrapped his gifts yet. I haven't written all the beautiful things in his card yet.
I knew this before, I know this now and I will probably know this forever - the hardest job I have ever had in my life is being a boyfriend. Ups, Downs, the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. The greatest and most rewarding job I have ever had, and at the exact same time probably the most frustrating. Each time I think I've figured out all of my job duties and think I'm "exceeding expectations" - I'm thrown a cold glare and I rebound to "unsatisfactory performance on the job"
Can someone get me a "employee manual" for Christmas ????
2 years, 2 months and our first real Christmas celebration with my family and I was miserable. Not to sure the pup has to worry about seeing anything tonight.
I'm trying to shake it. Tonight is supposed to be "our" Christmas and since I was in Milwaukee last year, this will only be our second Christmas together. But I haven't shook it yet. I haven't wrapped his gifts yet. I haven't written all the beautiful things in his card yet.
I knew this before, I know this now and I will probably know this forever - the hardest job I have ever had in my life is being a boyfriend. Ups, Downs, the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. The greatest and most rewarding job I have ever had, and at the exact same time probably the most frustrating. Each time I think I've figured out all of my job duties and think I'm "exceeding expectations" - I'm thrown a cold glare and I rebound to "unsatisfactory performance on the job"
Can someone get me a "employee manual" for Christmas ????
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
damn this guilt.....I'm so behind on blogging it sucks. Holiday madness. Boyfriend leaves for Jersey for 6 days for Xmas while I stay here with my family. We'll be celebrating our Christmas this Thursday with my folks (so they can give him his presents) and then Friday (just the two of us). The new dog has been killing the sex life (I just feel so weird having her in the room watching - ya know. And she cries if she's locked out), but I really need to get it and give it on our Christmas night so maybe I can get her doggie blinders - suggestions ????
Friday, December 14, 2001
poor Winona, I mean - I feel your pain - I really can't afford a great party outfit for that long list of Christmas Shin-Digs lining up in front of me starting tonight either.....
Thursday, December 13, 2001
...not sure I ever thought so much of my waking life and vernacular would be centered around the word:
POOP
...but oh what a naive, young lad was I...POOP consumes me now - gleefully I call it out from the back patio for all to hear -
"Good BABY, GOOOOOOOD POOP!!!!!"
Standing clad in only boxers, Arizona State University sweat shirt, bare feet and a bed-head hairstyle only a psychotic killer could call a "coif" at 400am.....Poooooooppppppp, POOP, Poop !!!!!!!!
I love this dog, my boyfriend loves this dog, anyone who lays eyes on this dog - LOVES this dog (and if ever there be a person who doesn't - THEY WILL RUE (or is it "ROO?" THE DAY!)
'nuf said....I need to go think some more about poop.
POOP
...but oh what a naive, young lad was I...POOP consumes me now - gleefully I call it out from the back patio for all to hear -
"Good BABY, GOOOOOOOD POOP!!!!!"
Standing clad in only boxers, Arizona State University sweat shirt, bare feet and a bed-head hairstyle only a psychotic killer could call a "coif" at 400am.....Poooooooppppppp, POOP, Poop !!!!!!!!
I love this dog, my boyfriend loves this dog, anyone who lays eyes on this dog - LOVES this dog (and if ever there be a person who doesn't - THEY WILL RUE (or is it "ROO?" THE DAY!)
'nuf said....I need to go think some more about poop.
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