• spanking the monkey
  
• choking the chicken
  
• flogging the bishop
  
• massaging the meat
  
• stretching the staff
  
• rolling the rod
  
• raising the sail
  
• taking a personal moment
  
• finding God
  
• getting to know myself
  
• taking time for personal relief
  
• taming the monster
  
• Where's Waldo?
  
• jerking off
  
• whacking off
  
• solo performance
  
• going blind

...upwards of 2-5 times a day lately I'm indulging in "personal time". Running late for work - wonder why? Didn't get to the gym - wonder why? Staying in tonight - wonder why ? Haven't pursued and MBA - well maybe that is for other reasons...

But I'm starting to wonder how long do I allow myself this post-break-up-masturbation-marathon, seriously when will it affect my desire to even leave the house and start looking for a third hand to do the job...or is it even a sign of a greater depression then I'm dealing with. I mean it's not like I'm replacing endless nights of passion - in the last few months of the relationship the bed saw nothing more exciting than the occassional snoring or bad dream. I'm certainly spending a fortune on DVD porn.

Even now I type this blog with freshly used hands (does that make you feel dirty, baby ?)

Someone tape my hands behind my back.