Friday, November 09, 2001
- Choire gets how many hits a week???? It's the web cams!!!! Now we know how cute he and Philo are. I think the boyfriend would be a little concerned if I got a web cam.
- I do not feel pretty when I'm hung over, but damn I just love to be bought drinks!
- There seems to be some prerequisite that Arizona morning newscasters must be "blond", "perky" and "vanilla"
- Thanks to Durran for the link!
- I'm quite certain - though they are kinda cute - that our roommates cats are stalking me.
- Actually you two, I thought the new NOLA living arrangements were more like this.
- uh dear, sweet 8LDJ, did you have any say in this?
- No more cookies and candy. I have to start doing cardio again soon....sigh.
- Hmmmm, the thought of chasing you around with a plastic speedtrack piece - threatening to smack your ass......nope not laughing, yep, oh yes, much different type of smile on my face.
- Am I a super model or what?
- Favorite recent search phrase that pulled up my site: "Old Homo's".....'nuf said.
Thursday, November 08, 2001
Dude - I know your pain, my 6 months of forebearance ("Oh sure 6 months will be enough, I'll find a new job in a month or two" - statement made over 4 months ago to my student loan issuer). Actually got my first credit card calls the other day too - first month late so their very chipper and actually feel bad about me being laid off in these tough economic times - let's see how they feel if I pushed it another month.
In recognition of Jonno's unemployment and a growing number of my friends (it's really hard to be as supportive once they too are feeling the crunch), I give you the "Signs You Are UnderEmployed":
- When people say - "Hey, it's great you found a job", you respond "Yeah, but does this name tag make me look fat"
- On future job applications you list your "current" job as "JUGGLER" since the underemployment position enables you to pay bills, but only by throwing several in the air at one time and then paying which ever one doesn't hit the ground.
- You envy all the cash your friends who are sexy bartenders are making accompanied by vulgar sexual propositions and phone numbers. And then wonder if your actually more envious of the "cash" or the "vulgar sexual propositions".
- The ranking superior your running faxes for makes $40K less then you were pulling in 5 months ago.
- Starbucks Cafe Latte Skinny on Ice is for executives/bourgeois/hollywood starlets/the Bush Twins, I'll have the Dunkin Donuts Regular Blend, please.
- No more Blockbuster Movie Rentals and "kitty"-vision at 3pm on a Tuesday.
- Time to masturbate only once a day.
- You rethink applying for a House Boy job in P-Town, Fire Island, Sagatuck (Hey - I know it's out of season, but let's face it I'm a little long in the tooth to be called a boy anyway)
- You still have enough unused active mental energy to make lists like this.
Wednesday, November 07, 2001
D'Backs parade is today. I really wanted to go, but people started showing up at 9pm last night to get in the stadium, and by 7am this morning the streets were filling up - 100's of thousands are expected. I am my own sense of fearing large, overly excitable crowds of people.
PS - I got the job (not the big deal one, but the one that at least will pay some of my bills til I get back to my career)
Tuesday, November 06, 2001
Monday, November 05, 2001
Sorry Stud, this series was amazing. You should have watched Roscoes explode when Gonzo hit the winning run. DBacks ROCK!
Saturday, November 03, 2001
Images from the past week:
- Lots of happiness in my heart having my buddy Curt in town. He calms me and makes me feel special.
- The not so special feeling I had when I went after a 20 something punk who made a 'faggots' slur at my boyfriend and I at a coffee house..."yes" I lost my cool - I was ready to replace the breeders head with a Jack-O-Latern. Breeders be warned - some fags fight!
- Me and the Boys looking very sexy in the Rough Trade Fire Dept gear...lots of raves on having a hairy chest amongst all those smooth boys.
- The drool down my chin and 170lbs of "out-cold" body weight that Curt and my boyfriend heaved through the door at 5am on Saturday night/Sunday morning after ingesting 'G' (comment: I didnt BUY it, I didnt KNOW I was consuming it, and we still dont know WHERE it got into my drink)
- A very frightened boyfriend who does love me more than words can describe and was very, very frightened.
- An interview. Though for "under"employment - it's a job, I need to work, I feel useless and I've run out of $$$$.
- Me, sitting by the phone still waiting for the BIG NAME COMPUTER COMPANY to call.
- $1,300 in work that needs to be done to the car I didnt want to keep but had to keep, because you can't drive a 2000 SUV anymore when you have no job...but a 95 Toyota is only gonna stay healthy for so long.
- A date. Just a movie (K-PAX, Kevin Spacey is AMAZING, the movie is OK) and a cheap dinner with my boyfriend last night. It was sweet. It was nice.
Thursday, October 25, 2001
- tina yothers pics
- philadelphia adult movie booth
- gay erotic drunk fly (uh, do the mean like 'The Fly' like a faggy, boozy, Vincent Price turned fly)
- Richard Greico
- pain in groin back burning
- groin pull swimming (why did this immediately bring John T Brown to mind??)
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
Last word from said desirable hiring company was from an impressed VP last week (" 'name of hiring manager' will be contacting you shortly"). Hadn't heard anything so I sent a thoughtful email to said 'hiring manager' on Monday acknowledging how busy he must be and reaffirming my interest in the position. Nothing.
Don't you think if two of your respected co-workers came to you (one of them your superior) and said "You gotta hire this guy he's a steal!"...you would at least acknowledge him. (INSERT HERE: Panic not alleviated by drugs, disco or compliments)
sigh!
Tuesday, October 23, 2001
P.C.A.D.
Sounds like a sneeze, eh? Or maybe that attempt to swear after stubbing your big toe on the bed post at 3am when all you were really hoping for was the last chocolate chip cookie?
It's my acronym for the disorder that I have invented:
Phone Call Anxiety Disorder - A disorder that sends it's victim in roller-coaster fits of anticipation-clickety-clack-excitement-clickety-clack-disappointment-clickety-clack-despair (oh, btw, the "clickety-clacks" were my roller-coaster sound effects - high tech, huh?).
I have learned these last 4 months to hate the phone.
I can't tell you how often I hear it ring - and I wonder, I hope, I dare to dream:
"Hey, it's someone calling about my resume submittal"
"Hey I bet this is the call!"
And then, it's not.
My friends have grown use to this abuse - the despondent sound in my voice when I answer and it's just, well, just them. I don't think this is what Alexander Graham Bell was expecting. I find myself playing games...
leaving the phone downstairs, pretending I don't hear it, turning it off, not looking at the caller id;
just to draw out those first few moments of anticipation...of hope.
So, well - just be warned - if you call and get my voice mail - consider yourself lucky - he's so much nicer than me.
Monday, October 22, 2001
Wednesday, October 17, 2001
Last week:
- Knock-down, drag-out fights with the boyfriend that pushed so far we had to sit down and ask each other if we could make it through this shitty stage (INSERT HERE: Honeymoon over)
- A great, rather drunken weekend with my boyfriend, Brian, Alex, Dave, Del and others all in tow tramping around Tucson's Gay Pride shirtless, a little awnry and extremely flirtatious - excluding the raise the bar standards of this looker, it was easy to be 'Rock Stars' in Tucson. If any of my friends forwarded the pics to me, I will post them here. (INSERT HERE: My drunken need to grab my dick for every picture)
- A lot of making up and two-way apologies between the boyfriend and I for allowing my jobless frustrations to come between what should be a long-life filled with happiness. (INSERT HERE: I guess I still have place to live)
- A solid referral to an unpublished job opportunity with one of the few major computer companies I "haven't" worked for. (INSERT HERE: Request for everyone who reads this blog to cross their fingers, toes, and everything else)
- Finally finished the free-lance search-engine-optimization/directory submission project I was working on. Now to just get all these other little projects off my plate.
- Oh yeah....and as I said, something else is in the works, guess what???? (INSERT HERE: How happy I will be to post on my schedule NOT just when Blogger is working)
Thursday, October 11, 2001
Wednesday, October 10, 2001
Tuesday, October 09, 2001
Look HERE for my winner of the "What are you wearing?" contest (null where prohibited, contest not valid in states that fly Confederate flags)
Wow! Did I really spend my morning discussing set-ups, plots, production values, and artistic integrity of porn films with my favorite kitty hanging off a branch today.
I owe you something dirty, so here it is: Crumpled Dollar Bills - Episodes of My Youth in it's entirety - enjoy!
Sunday, October 07, 2001
Sun in Leo, Moon in Virgo
You were born with the Sun in Leo and the Moon in Virgo. Internally, Leo has a fiery, ardent, and overpowering psychological makeup. The predominantly Leonian individual is dignified, proud, commanding, powerful, and magnanimous. These qualities are not very well expressed in terms of the personality, because the Moon in Virgo introduces a different influence; it restrains these characteristics, emphasizing your more practical side, such as performing services for others. These qualities conflict with the Leonian, and unless you somehow attempt to harmonize your internal self with your personality role you will be an unhappy person.
Notice that though internally you burn with the desire for authority and power, the role of the Virgo is that of service and a subordinate position. The only area in which Virgo and Leo do agree is that Leo gives tremendous clarity and perspective concerning the pride, emotions, and ideas of other people, while Virgo gives an analytical capacity which facilitates deep comprehension. Virgo inhibits the natural traits of a predominantly Leonian individual, causing you to occupy a lower position in life and to be subjected to much snubbing.
Others see you as a person who does not want to take the lead in all matters (although you secretly harbor the desire to do just that). You are attentive, careful, and observant. Outwardly, you are pure in love and sexual matters, but inwardly, you have a devouring passion. Try to harmonize the power of Leo with the cleverness of Virgo, and you will have total success, both in material concerns and in your relationships with others.
Ascendant in Virgo, Mercury in the First House
At the time of your birth the zodiacal sign of Virgo was ascending in the horizon. Its ruler Mercury is located at the first house.
This indicates that throughout your life you will assume a reserved, quiet, analytical, critical, and receptive attitude.
Although you are not an individual with a very strong ambition, you possess the ability to persevere and exert ingenuity.
Some selfishness is noted. However, if you are able to counteract this negative trait with your natural helpful and sympathetic attitude and address your positive qualities to resolve the problems of others then you will accomplish your highest spiritual duties and your degree of consciousness and perception will be expanded.
You are not afraid to work but you like to do things where you can use intellectual resources rather than mechanical ones. There is some independence here but don't try to be forceful about it because Virgo's natural habitat is one in which the person is led by some powerful authority and where the important decisions are best made by others.
You are very attentive to detail and this makes you a good worker, especially so in those jobs that require a great deal of precision and observation. You have a desire for purity and though you don't mind relating to others there is something that you do dislike: continuous intrusion of your privacy. What will your life be like? We think it will be one in which business and practicality are to be very important. Although we are not advising you to turn against your natural traits, which make you slightly cold and reserved, we would suggest that when in love you let yourself relax and respond so as to be able to return some of the affection you are receiving.
Life will find you in many situations in which you will function as advisor and counsellor; make use of these opportunities to project the power of your creativeness.
This makes you a person to whom success is available through personal effort. You are ambitious, swift, intellectual, and possess some sort of scientific vocation; your speech is fluent and eloquent. You are a useful and beneficial person.
Your activities should be those that are intense, varied and require intelligence. You love detailed work: writing, collecting, acting as a middle man, selling, and communicating. You are an excellent critic and analyst.
Moon in the First House
The Moon is in the first house. This position indicates that you are strongly influenced by your feelings and moods.
Your awareness of yourself is influenced by your momentary feelings, and this perception is subject to rapid changes of mood and emotion. In time, you will learn to understand why you react as you do to various situations, and then you can begin to change your response patterns and take more control of your life.
Others sense your lack of emotional self-sufficiency and tend to get involved in your personal affairs, even if you try to prevent it. You express your sensitivity through an emotional need to nurture and be nurtured by others. While you would like to have guidance and supervision concerning your goals and objectives, it would be better to achieve your aims independently so that you will not feel obligated to others.
The advantage of this position lies in your ability to sense other people's needs and desires.
In fact, you have a calming effect on people who are under stress, and this makes you ideally suited for working with the public.
Moon Conjunct Ascendant
The Moon conjunct the Ascendant shows that you have some emotional hangups. You want close, intimate contacts with others, but you tend to keep people at arm's length because you are afraid you will become obligated to them.
You are a mass of contradictions - making demands on people but complaining when they do the same to you; expecting others to make overtures to you and withdrawing when they do. Although you are highly imaginative, you react to stimulating people in a generally negative and critical way.
On the surface you are independent, but you yearn for a quieter role in which you can enjoy the comfort of knowing that someone really cares for you. This can only happen when you lower your defensive barriers and learn to compromise by meeting people halfway.
Saturn in the Ninth House
Saturn, the ruler of destiny, was found in the ninth house at the time of birth. This indicates that your concern over the impermanence of all things will urge you to restrict your personality traits and assume a position of caution and planning before pursuing any important matter.
In a practical sense, your attitude to all higher intellectual functions is that of a studious, serious, and meditative person. You must, however, be attentive to the possible presence of several negative elements in your intellectual make-up such as depression, fear, and severity.
Venus in the Eleventh House
Venus, the planet of beauty and love, was found in the eleventh house at the time of your birth. Your aspirations in life are very aesthetically oriented.
You strive for peace and harmony and if it were left up to you the whole world would be more humane, kind, and considerate. In your more personal relationships, Venus gives you the capability of obtaining substantial gain and assistance through your friends, who will desire to assist you with the best of intentions.
Sun in the Twelfth House
The Sun, the king of this celestial system, was in your twelfth house at the time of birth. This may indicate a life full of limitations, obstacles, and human opposition.
You are urged to make an about face and confront your own accumulated history. Take some time for introspection. It may result in a purification process accompanied by some remorse of conscience.
Internally, you are quite different from the way you present yourself externally. You possess a vast reservoir of energy that may be partially hidden even from your own awareness.
Your internal disposition is strong, commanding, open, and of a rare generosity. More and more you should try to bring these characteristics into the open so that they can overcome some of the less desirable aspects of your personality.