At first it was a strange warm feeling stirring inside my stomach - DAMN is that the Chili from last night ??, but then the sensation washed over me all warm and fuzzy (no I wasn't on X, that was Saturday night - BYE-BYE CroBar - SING IT! another bar bites the dust, and another one does, and another one does, another bar bites the dust HEY! ) - I felt it creep through my Big Star Jeans - filling my new - really awesome Steve Hammond brown suede, green leather, bowling striped sneakers and then zinging straight through every available blood vessel like a starship rocketing to my heart. Awesome amounts of blood pumping - nearly causing a cardiovascular overload I haven't experienced since I watched all Real World Seattle episodes back-to-back on a marathon weekend (SLAP that SICK bitch you CLOSET HOMO!)....
I have arrived....
I am a flutter...
I AM ON HIS FAVORITES LIST
Tuesday, March 12, 2002
hmmmm....the interesting referral/key word search phrase of the day seems to be:
FURRY PORN
Now one would normally think that this would be an immediate link to, well, you know who...but it just left me thinking how many other possible - alternative - sites it could pull up, suddenly I'm picturing naked bunnies, smoking cigs, wearing harnesses - seductively daring you to "Fuck Like A Rabbit", Overstuffed Teddy Bears forced into unnatural positions against the better grace of God, FAO Schwartz and natural fiber and worst of all - Ziefried & Roy wearing diamond studded-cock rings, purring and lisping sexual innuendo to a frightened, caged cheetah while prancing around in white, mink coats.
...I guess I now know why my mother also said an overactive imagination is a very bad thing indeed.
FURRY PORN
Now one would normally think that this would be an immediate link to, well, you know who...but it just left me thinking how many other possible - alternative - sites it could pull up, suddenly I'm picturing naked bunnies, smoking cigs, wearing harnesses - seductively daring you to "Fuck Like A Rabbit", Overstuffed Teddy Bears forced into unnatural positions against the better grace of God, FAO Schwartz and natural fiber and worst of all - Ziefried & Roy wearing diamond studded-cock rings, purring and lisping sexual innuendo to a frightened, caged cheetah while prancing around in white, mink coats.
...I guess I now know why my mother also said an overactive imagination is a very bad thing indeed.
Friday, March 08, 2002
Thursday, March 07, 2002
Wednesday, March 06, 2002
Leo Horoscope for Today: March 6th, 2002
"Celebrate your special contributions rather than be ashamed of them. What you hold in your hand is really quite special, and shows a side of you that reveals not only your taste, but your complexity. Quit thinking that you don't deserve the joy that is coming your way. The more willing you are to appreciate your uniqueness, the more you can appreciate others. "
Not sure why I find this soooo funny, but I read it after my last post and well, it kinda rubbed me the right way - no pun intended (well - I mean - not completely).
"Celebrate your special contributions rather than be ashamed of them. What you hold in your hand is really quite special, and shows a side of you that reveals not only your taste, but your complexity. Quit thinking that you don't deserve the joy that is coming your way. The more willing you are to appreciate your uniqueness, the more you can appreciate others. "
Not sure why I find this soooo funny, but I read it after my last post and well, it kinda rubbed me the right way - no pun intended (well - I mean - not completely).
...distracted....
sometimes, the WORLD OF THE BLOG (sounds so ominious - like the idea of Jerry Springer doing a nude scene) is just distracting. Like an itch I promise myself I'm just gonna scratch briefly and then every few seconds I'm scratching at it til I can't remember where the particular itch began and the scratching ended...I used to be this way about jerking off - yes Choire, many, many kittens have died at my proverbial hands - I would be languishing around bored - or home from a drunken night on the town - and I would pop-in a Falcon/Colt/HotHouse/Buckshot porn and start choking Mr. Happy. The itch that just couldn't be scratched enough. I would crawl into bed, or go about my errands, or whatever fit the scenario and then maybe 10 minutes, maybe and hour, I would be yanking my pants down and massaging my member again - lube in one hand, poppers in the other (oh how RETRO!) ...
besides the fact I'm a deviant - why am I writing about this ? because I haven't been feeling the itch much for a couple of months now - almost could care less - and it's spreading .... am I denying the existance of a massive depression hiding inside my button-fly 501's, did I turn some weird sexual corner and not even notice, would I rather have a bumper up my nose and float in the clouds ? a couple of months ago I was "SUPER-CHARGED" - the Energizer Bunny wrote me fan letters, GM wanted to stick me inside their engine (actually that sounds kinda sexy) and my boyfriend never looked at me funny.
The Rocket still lifts off strong and solid, still can shoot to the stars and beyond - but suddenly the pilot just doesn't even feel like flipping on the controls, hitting the propolsion and venturing out in to outer space...
What gives Super Friends ???
sometimes, the WORLD OF THE BLOG (sounds so ominious - like the idea of Jerry Springer doing a nude scene) is just distracting. Like an itch I promise myself I'm just gonna scratch briefly and then every few seconds I'm scratching at it til I can't remember where the particular itch began and the scratching ended...I used to be this way about jerking off - yes Choire, many, many kittens have died at my proverbial hands - I would be languishing around bored - or home from a drunken night on the town - and I would pop-in a Falcon/Colt/HotHouse/Buckshot porn and start choking Mr. Happy. The itch that just couldn't be scratched enough. I would crawl into bed, or go about my errands, or whatever fit the scenario and then maybe 10 minutes, maybe and hour, I would be yanking my pants down and massaging my member again - lube in one hand, poppers in the other (oh how RETRO!) ...
besides the fact I'm a deviant - why am I writing about this ? because I haven't been feeling the itch much for a couple of months now - almost could care less - and it's spreading .... am I denying the existance of a massive depression hiding inside my button-fly 501's, did I turn some weird sexual corner and not even notice, would I rather have a bumper up my nose and float in the clouds ? a couple of months ago I was "SUPER-CHARGED" - the Energizer Bunny wrote me fan letters, GM wanted to stick me inside their engine (actually that sounds kinda sexy) and my boyfriend never looked at me funny.
The Rocket still lifts off strong and solid, still can shoot to the stars and beyond - but suddenly the pilot just doesn't even feel like flipping on the controls, hitting the propolsion and venturing out in to outer space...
What gives Super Friends ???
Sunday, March 03, 2002
...my roomate pointed out to me this morning that he (and the trick he brought home last night) found great humor to come home last night at midnight (he was working overtime to have a trick that "early" - just kidding) to find me and Baby curled up watching "Texas Chainsaw Massacre II" by ourselves. Ok - bestow me the honor - "Worst Waste of a Saturday Night" but honestly after an afternoon of Margarita's at Hamburger Mary's, Fresh Baked Kitty at Noahs and then this DREADFUL movie...I wanted me/down time - no matter how it was spent.
The world axis now tilts towards Swiss Cheese.
Probably the most easily, enjoyable part of my weekend actually was hanging with you - buddy.
BTW - check out Scott at Sardonic-Bomb...you gotta love a guy who has a site section titled "PIGGY".
The world axis now tilts towards Swiss Cheese.
Probably the most easily, enjoyable part of my weekend actually was hanging with you - buddy.
BTW - check out Scott at Sardonic-Bomb...you gotta love a guy who has a site section titled "PIGGY".
Friday, March 01, 2002
Just a slightly beefcake-ish shot in case my boyfriend is reading while he's 3000 miles away.uh ....not sure how this cutie showed up on my referral log - but I think I might have a bit of a crush on him ;)
Don't worry boyfriend - your safe - he'll just think (at 32) that I'm a dirty old man *grins*
embarrasingly nice web design and an easy face to look at - all of 19 - oh to be that young again.
Psssssst - I can buy ya beer (wink-wink, nudge-nudge)....
....I'm missing my boy something fierce.
....my last blog really set some peoples fires.
....I'm afraid this ONE must be lying dead in a ditch or something (wearing a sundress no less) since he no showed Roscoes for beer.
....felt pretty good about the fact that hitting the gym 6 days a week for the past 3 weeks was showing last night, my size SMALL "Peterbilt" shirt received many favorable remarks
....actually had someone (recollectively) refer to me (in my youth) as such a serious and introspective looking young man (does that just mean "unapproachable")
....dinner party tonight and I'm really just feeling blue and blah and just want to cuddle my dog (and pet the kitty)
....it's Friday and I'm itching to get the heck out of here and it's, well, only 9:26am
....my last blog really set some peoples fires.
....I'm afraid this ONE must be lying dead in a ditch or something (wearing a sundress no less) since he no showed Roscoes for beer.
....felt pretty good about the fact that hitting the gym 6 days a week for the past 3 weeks was showing last night, my size SMALL "Peterbilt" shirt received many favorable remarks
....actually had someone (recollectively) refer to me (in my youth) as such a serious and introspective looking young man (does that just mean "unapproachable")
....dinner party tonight and I'm really just feeling blue and blah and just want to cuddle my dog (and pet the kitty)
....it's Friday and I'm itching to get the heck out of here and it's, well, only 9:26am
Wednesday, February 27, 2002
My boy takes off for Parsippany NJ tonight to go to the christening (which I admittedly thought was pronounced "Chrish-nen", so I probably didn't spell it right either) of his new neice. In some ways gay relationships are like a little dance step - one forward/one back. More frightening than the Macarena and more complicated than the Tango.
While Lucky's parents have finally met me (July), and seem to approve of me, I am invited to "nothing" - not Christmas, not Thanksgiving, not Birthdays and well, not, Christenings.
I think family and friends spend so much time in the first few years of a loved one coming out (Lucky, I mean) selfishly wondering how "THEY" are coping with it, they lose all sense of common decency and etiquette.
I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2.5 years, we have lived together going on 9 months, we are buying a house together, I am spending the rest of my life with him - but somewhere, somehow society has deemed it ok, loved ones of the man I love have deemed it ok and even strangers to us both have deemed it ok - that how "I" feel doesn't really matter much, what "I" want is acceptable as long as not spoken and surely what "I" need isn't important enough to ruffle a few feathers.
Really this isn't directly anyones "fault", but it's just a damn shame....
I really would make a wonderful Son-In-Law.
While Lucky's parents have finally met me (July), and seem to approve of me, I am invited to "nothing" - not Christmas, not Thanksgiving, not Birthdays and well, not, Christenings.
I think family and friends spend so much time in the first few years of a loved one coming out (Lucky, I mean) selfishly wondering how "THEY" are coping with it, they lose all sense of common decency and etiquette.
I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2.5 years, we have lived together going on 9 months, we are buying a house together, I am spending the rest of my life with him - but somewhere, somehow society has deemed it ok, loved ones of the man I love have deemed it ok and even strangers to us both have deemed it ok - that how "I" feel doesn't really matter much, what "I" want is acceptable as long as not spoken and surely what "I" need isn't important enough to ruffle a few feathers.
Really this isn't directly anyones "fault", but it's just a damn shame....
I really would make a wonderful Son-In-Law.
Friday, February 22, 2002
From the time I was a precocious, little youngster - to rebellious, idealistic teenager - to full-blown "not always exciting" adulthood I have envisioned shaping my life through the choice of many dream careers and professions.
The question "What are YOU going to be when you grow up?" was never lost on me, never silent, a combination of aspiration, enthusiasm and Torrets would come spewing forth with answers like the following:
Age 4-6: Fireman - well now I just want to sleep with one and wear the uniforms.
Age 7-10: Superhero - of course my super powers were "super human strength" and "x-ray vision"...sigh, I still want to be a Superhero - of course at 32 I feel a little uncomfortable wearing tights.
Age 11-12: World Renowned Chef - the problem is I only "really" enjoyed making party platters and hor-deurves, damned to be a "Hostess"
Age 13-15: Wall Street Stock Broker - I had way too much time on my hands envisioning myself as the real "Alex P. Keaton"
Age 16-19: Free-Lance Journalist covering World Events - I was going to cover the world as it changed and evolved, thus helping others to change and evolve.
Age 20-32: Businessman - I just wanted to be able to pay back my student loans.
Present: A happy, productive, caring, generous human.
I bring all this up now because I spent the last few years of high school and first two years of community college wanting nothing more than to be a journalist - what I saw as a combination of gung-ho hero, altruist, rebel, scholar, peacekeeper and enlightened soul. Night after night my mother would cut out articles about journalists being kidnapped, tortured and murdered - "this will be your fate" she would worriedly exclaim. But If you can remember how strongly you felt things (the things you truly first BELIEVED in those early years of adulthood) - you'll understand why I so wanted to pursue that dream despite my parents wishes, and then how last night the tears welled up in the corners of my eyes when I heard they had slit Daniel Pearls throat.
No "cause" is better than another "cause"
No"religion" is more justified in it's barbaric actions than another "religion" - barbaric actions are just that BARBARIC.
If "there's" is the "WRONG/EVIL" side and "yours" is the "RIGHT/GOOD" side, than easily when you stand in "their" shoes it's just the exact opposite
Let's face it - murder is murder - truth like that is simple.
The question "What are YOU going to be when you grow up?" was never lost on me, never silent, a combination of aspiration, enthusiasm and Torrets would come spewing forth with answers like the following:
Age 4-6: Fireman - well now I just want to sleep with one and wear the uniforms.
Age 7-10: Superhero - of course my super powers were "super human strength" and "x-ray vision"...sigh, I still want to be a Superhero - of course at 32 I feel a little uncomfortable wearing tights.
Age 11-12: World Renowned Chef - the problem is I only "really" enjoyed making party platters and hor-deurves, damned to be a "Hostess"
Age 13-15: Wall Street Stock Broker - I had way too much time on my hands envisioning myself as the real "Alex P. Keaton"
Age 16-19: Free-Lance Journalist covering World Events - I was going to cover the world as it changed and evolved, thus helping others to change and evolve.
Age 20-32: Businessman - I just wanted to be able to pay back my student loans.
Present: A happy, productive, caring, generous human.
I bring all this up now because I spent the last few years of high school and first two years of community college wanting nothing more than to be a journalist - what I saw as a combination of gung-ho hero, altruist, rebel, scholar, peacekeeper and enlightened soul. Night after night my mother would cut out articles about journalists being kidnapped, tortured and murdered - "this will be your fate" she would worriedly exclaim. But If you can remember how strongly you felt things (the things you truly first BELIEVED in those early years of adulthood) - you'll understand why I so wanted to pursue that dream despite my parents wishes, and then how last night the tears welled up in the corners of my eyes when I heard they had slit Daniel Pearls throat.
No "cause" is better than another "cause"
No"religion" is more justified in it's barbaric actions than another "religion" - barbaric actions are just that BARBARIC.
If "there's" is the "WRONG/EVIL" side and "yours" is the "RIGHT/GOOD" side, than easily when you stand in "their" shoes it's just the exact opposite
Let's face it - murder is murder - truth like that is simple.
Thursday, February 21, 2002
....i'm curious - when the fuck did it become the 21st of February ???
Suddenly the next big holidays are Easter, Memorial Day, July 4th (the first two relative to circuit parties - White Party & IML and the last my loving boyfriends birthday)....but I mean "Hey SLOW DOWN already!".....
I thought it was just yesterday I was packing up 30 years of my life to move away to pursue the pinnacle of my professional success in Milwaukee, NOPE, yesterday turned out to be a gut-wrenching (but short lived break-up with the love of my life as a 2000 mile distance crushed our resolve), OOPS, NO AGAIN, yesterday was one of the most special conversations of my life where Lucky & I realized we could only possibly envision growing old with each other, OR - HOLD IT! - NO, yesterday was the sad, downward-spiralling of my life as I was laid off from a job for the first time in my life and I moved 2000 miles across the country (leaving so many new and absolutely wonderful friends behind) to move in with my boyfriend.....but, NO, as of TODAY, Yesterday has changed AGAIN, and seems to keep changing at a dizzying speed.
Guess it just makes me wonder what TOMORROW is going to be all about ?
Suddenly the next big holidays are Easter, Memorial Day, July 4th (the first two relative to circuit parties - White Party & IML and the last my loving boyfriends birthday)....but I mean "Hey SLOW DOWN already!".....
I thought it was just yesterday I was packing up 30 years of my life to move away to pursue the pinnacle of my professional success in Milwaukee, NOPE, yesterday turned out to be a gut-wrenching (but short lived break-up with the love of my life as a 2000 mile distance crushed our resolve), OOPS, NO AGAIN, yesterday was one of the most special conversations of my life where Lucky & I realized we could only possibly envision growing old with each other, OR - HOLD IT! - NO, yesterday was the sad, downward-spiralling of my life as I was laid off from a job for the first time in my life and I moved 2000 miles across the country (leaving so many new and absolutely wonderful friends behind) to move in with my boyfriend.....but, NO, as of TODAY, Yesterday has changed AGAIN, and seems to keep changing at a dizzying speed.
Guess it just makes me wonder what TOMORROW is going to be all about ?
Monday, February 18, 2002
What a terrificly fun weekend of friends, substance abuse, dancing, substance abuse, flirting, substance abuse, sex...well you get the picture. I can't believe I'm at work - I am so sneaking out of here early (since the boss is wandering the streets of Serrento, Italy looking for pizza and afternoon movie or Bloody Mary with friends may be in order).
Had a really enjoyable breakfast with everyones favorite anagram - encorswish. You have to spend time with Chris to know how much fun he is - and later we took him back to our place and did him doggy-style (just joking - wink-wink, nugde-nudge).
Trying to recover from a great weekend and sapped energy - where are mothers miracle pills - hmmmm?
Wednesday, February 13, 2002
Oh you, have I ever told you how giddy you make me - what??? NO - your joking with me, stop that - HEY that tickles - you cute, silly tease
you've had my eye for quite some time now.
I've been spending my days toying with the irresistible idea of you and me - while so many daily duldrum facets of the day wash away - escaping me
So well you know I think your beautiful and I mean from the inside out - ya know
and well I think your neat - not just a little but crud, more than Sea Monkeys
SO I guess what I'm trying to ask - trying to be the first to inquire.....
well, will you...maybe, would you...perhaps, could you.... Be My Valentine ???
Tuesday, February 12, 2002
hold it....if I was gonna be an answer to a question...couldn't the question have been:
"Most willing to be the Midwest filling between East (Choire) Meets West (Philo) ?"
I mean with the boyfriends permission and all
Congrats on the 100,000 hit.
40 days to White Party. I feel pretty fat to be wearing white, maybe a Blue Party would appear more slimming.
"Most willing to be the Midwest filling between East (Choire) Meets West (Philo) ?"
I mean with the boyfriends permission and all
Congrats on the 100,000 hit.
40 days to White Party. I feel pretty fat to be wearing white, maybe a Blue Party would appear more slimming.
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