Wednesday, September 04, 2002

...I would love to tell you I've been dancing the salsa of good humor and chesire cat grins all day
...I would love to tell you I slayed some dragons, enhanced my self-esteem and made hot passionate love today
...I would love to tell you I cured cancer with a simple combination of chocolate, Merchant-Ivory films and back-rubs

but, I didn't.

Instead I had the most insanely horrific conversation/arguement/verbal haranguing with the owner of the retail side of the house. His pathetic paranoia, his overly inflated ego, his cruel and abrupt method of conducting conversations through personal assaults, his ability to take a meaningless phrase and begin a diatribe on the wrongs of everyone around him. I have never - ever had a person speak to me in this manner - ending with a backhanded side ways comment about my sexuality. I had to bring forth every fiber of my human condition to not rip his fucking head from his body and shove it up his conceited, myoptic, lunatic Mormon ass. I endured threats to my career, to my future and to my livelihood from a man who is neither my boss, my coworker or my friend. What a time to be giving up drugs, easing back on booze and avoiding casual sex...I want to destroy something - I want to hear something - someone - snap in my strong deliberate hands. I willing want to quit my job and walk back in there and shove my 6 figure salary down his throat - I have grown weary of working for others - I have grown sick of being a sponge for bull-shit - I want to quit this 3 ring circus and be a god damn monk without a dime to his name.

deep breath...whooooooooooooooo.