- tina yothers pics
- philadelphia adult movie booth
- gay erotic drunk fly (uh, do the mean like 'The Fly' like a faggy, boozy, Vincent Price turned fly)
- Richard Greico
- pain in groin back burning
- groin pull swimming (why did this immediately bring John T Brown to mind??)
Thursday, October 25, 2001
I titter and swell with pride (actually maybe I'm retaining water) to know the following keywords are pulling complete innocents into the web of intrigue I call my blog:
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
I'm not sure the collective finger-crossing, well wishing and for some of you well - you just went beyond the call of duty to cross, something....anything. (INSERT HERE: Frustration, not alleviated through sex or booze)
Last word from said desirable hiring company was from an impressed VP last week (" 'name of hiring manager' will be contacting you shortly"). Hadn't heard anything so I sent a thoughtful email to said 'hiring manager' on Monday acknowledging how busy he must be and reaffirming my interest in the position. Nothing.
Don't you think if two of your respected co-workers came to you (one of them your superior) and said "You gotta hire this guy he's a steal!"...you would at least acknowledge him. (INSERT HERE: Panic not alleviated by drugs, disco or compliments)
sigh!
Last word from said desirable hiring company was from an impressed VP last week (" 'name of hiring manager' will be contacting you shortly"). Hadn't heard anything so I sent a thoughtful email to said 'hiring manager' on Monday acknowledging how busy he must be and reaffirming my interest in the position. Nothing.
Don't you think if two of your respected co-workers came to you (one of them your superior) and said "You gotta hire this guy he's a steal!"...you would at least acknowledge him. (INSERT HERE: Panic not alleviated by drugs, disco or compliments)
sigh!
Tuesday, October 23, 2001
P.C.A.D.
Sounds like a sneeze, eh? Or maybe that attempt to swear after stubbing your big toe on the bed post at 3am when all you were really hoping for was the last chocolate chip cookie?
It's my acronym for the disorder that I have invented:
Phone Call Anxiety Disorder - A disorder that sends it's victim in roller-coaster fits of anticipation-clickety-clack-excitement-clickety-clack-disappointment-clickety-clack-despair (oh, btw, the "clickety-clacks" were my roller-coaster sound effects - high tech, huh?).
I have learned these last 4 months to hate the phone.
I can't tell you how often I hear it ring - and I wonder, I hope, I dare to dream:
"Hey, it's someone calling about my resume submittal"
"Hey I bet this is the call!"
And then, it's not.
My friends have grown use to this abuse - the despondent sound in my voice when I answer and it's just, well, just them. I don't think this is what Alexander Graham Bell was expecting. I find myself playing games...
leaving the phone downstairs, pretending I don't hear it, turning it off, not looking at the caller id;
just to draw out those first few moments of anticipation...of hope.
So, well - just be warned - if you call and get my voice mail - consider yourself lucky - he's so much nicer than me.
Monday, October 22, 2001
Wednesday, October 17, 2001
Things have been crazy lately.
Last week:
Last week:
- Knock-down, drag-out fights with the boyfriend that pushed so far we had to sit down and ask each other if we could make it through this shitty stage (INSERT HERE: Honeymoon over)
- A great, rather drunken weekend with my boyfriend, Brian, Alex, Dave, Del and others all in tow tramping around Tucson's Gay Pride shirtless, a little awnry and extremely flirtatious - excluding the raise the bar standards of this looker, it was easy to be 'Rock Stars' in Tucson. If any of my friends forwarded the pics to me, I will post them here. (INSERT HERE: My drunken need to grab my dick for every picture)
- A lot of making up and two-way apologies between the boyfriend and I for allowing my jobless frustrations to come between what should be a long-life filled with happiness. (INSERT HERE: I guess I still have place to live)
- A solid referral to an unpublished job opportunity with one of the few major computer companies I "haven't" worked for. (INSERT HERE: Request for everyone who reads this blog to cross their fingers, toes, and everything else)
- Finally finished the free-lance search-engine-optimization/directory submission project I was working on. Now to just get all these other little projects off my plate.
- Oh yeah....and as I said, something else is in the works, guess what???? (INSERT HERE: How happy I will be to post on my schedule NOT just when Blogger is working)
Thursday, October 11, 2001
Wednesday, October 10, 2001
Tuesday, October 09, 2001
Look HERE for my winner of the "What are you wearing?" contest (null where prohibited, contest not valid in states that fly Confederate flags)
Wow! Did I really spend my morning discussing set-ups, plots, production values, and artistic integrity of porn films with my favorite kitty hanging off a branch today.
I owe you something dirty, so here it is: Crumpled Dollar Bills - Episodes of My Youth in it's entirety - enjoy!
Sunday, October 07, 2001
Inspired by the lovely Jonno, I did my astrological birth chart stuff. Man, do I sound like one messy dope:
Sun in Leo, Moon in Virgo
You were born with the Sun in Leo and the Moon in Virgo. Internally, Leo has a fiery, ardent, and overpowering psychological makeup. The predominantly Leonian individual is dignified, proud, commanding, powerful, and magnanimous. These qualities are not very well expressed in terms of the personality, because the Moon in Virgo introduces a different influence; it restrains these characteristics, emphasizing your more practical side, such as performing services for others. These qualities conflict with the Leonian, and unless you somehow attempt to harmonize your internal self with your personality role you will be an unhappy person.
Notice that though internally you burn with the desire for authority and power, the role of the Virgo is that of service and a subordinate position. The only area in which Virgo and Leo do agree is that Leo gives tremendous clarity and perspective concerning the pride, emotions, and ideas of other people, while Virgo gives an analytical capacity which facilitates deep comprehension. Virgo inhibits the natural traits of a predominantly Leonian individual, causing you to occupy a lower position in life and to be subjected to much snubbing.
Others see you as a person who does not want to take the lead in all matters (although you secretly harbor the desire to do just that). You are attentive, careful, and observant. Outwardly, you are pure in love and sexual matters, but inwardly, you have a devouring passion. Try to harmonize the power of Leo with the cleverness of Virgo, and you will have total success, both in material concerns and in your relationships with others.
Ascendant in Virgo, Mercury in the First House
At the time of your birth the zodiacal sign of Virgo was ascending in the horizon. Its ruler Mercury is located at the first house.
This indicates that throughout your life you will assume a reserved, quiet, analytical, critical, and receptive attitude.
Although you are not an individual with a very strong ambition, you possess the ability to persevere and exert ingenuity.
Some selfishness is noted. However, if you are able to counteract this negative trait with your natural helpful and sympathetic attitude and address your positive qualities to resolve the problems of others then you will accomplish your highest spiritual duties and your degree of consciousness and perception will be expanded.
You are not afraid to work but you like to do things where you can use intellectual resources rather than mechanical ones. There is some independence here but don't try to be forceful about it because Virgo's natural habitat is one in which the person is led by some powerful authority and where the important decisions are best made by others.
You are very attentive to detail and this makes you a good worker, especially so in those jobs that require a great deal of precision and observation. You have a desire for purity and though you don't mind relating to others there is something that you do dislike: continuous intrusion of your privacy. What will your life be like? We think it will be one in which business and practicality are to be very important. Although we are not advising you to turn against your natural traits, which make you slightly cold and reserved, we would suggest that when in love you let yourself relax and respond so as to be able to return some of the affection you are receiving.
Life will find you in many situations in which you will function as advisor and counsellor; make use of these opportunities to project the power of your creativeness.
This makes you a person to whom success is available through personal effort. You are ambitious, swift, intellectual, and possess some sort of scientific vocation; your speech is fluent and eloquent. You are a useful and beneficial person.
Your activities should be those that are intense, varied and require intelligence. You love detailed work: writing, collecting, acting as a middle man, selling, and communicating. You are an excellent critic and analyst.
Moon in the First House
The Moon is in the first house. This position indicates that you are strongly influenced by your feelings and moods.
Your awareness of yourself is influenced by your momentary feelings, and this perception is subject to rapid changes of mood and emotion. In time, you will learn to understand why you react as you do to various situations, and then you can begin to change your response patterns and take more control of your life.
Others sense your lack of emotional self-sufficiency and tend to get involved in your personal affairs, even if you try to prevent it. You express your sensitivity through an emotional need to nurture and be nurtured by others. While you would like to have guidance and supervision concerning your goals and objectives, it would be better to achieve your aims independently so that you will not feel obligated to others.
The advantage of this position lies in your ability to sense other people's needs and desires.
In fact, you have a calming effect on people who are under stress, and this makes you ideally suited for working with the public.
Moon Conjunct Ascendant
The Moon conjunct the Ascendant shows that you have some emotional hangups. You want close, intimate contacts with others, but you tend to keep people at arm's length because you are afraid you will become obligated to them.
You are a mass of contradictions - making demands on people but complaining when they do the same to you; expecting others to make overtures to you and withdrawing when they do. Although you are highly imaginative, you react to stimulating people in a generally negative and critical way.
On the surface you are independent, but you yearn for a quieter role in which you can enjoy the comfort of knowing that someone really cares for you. This can only happen when you lower your defensive barriers and learn to compromise by meeting people halfway.
Saturn in the Ninth House
Saturn, the ruler of destiny, was found in the ninth house at the time of birth. This indicates that your concern over the impermanence of all things will urge you to restrict your personality traits and assume a position of caution and planning before pursuing any important matter.
In a practical sense, your attitude to all higher intellectual functions is that of a studious, serious, and meditative person. You must, however, be attentive to the possible presence of several negative elements in your intellectual make-up such as depression, fear, and severity.
Venus in the Eleventh House
Venus, the planet of beauty and love, was found in the eleventh house at the time of your birth. Your aspirations in life are very aesthetically oriented.
You strive for peace and harmony and if it were left up to you the whole world would be more humane, kind, and considerate. In your more personal relationships, Venus gives you the capability of obtaining substantial gain and assistance through your friends, who will desire to assist you with the best of intentions.
Sun in the Twelfth House
The Sun, the king of this celestial system, was in your twelfth house at the time of birth. This may indicate a life full of limitations, obstacles, and human opposition.
You are urged to make an about face and confront your own accumulated history. Take some time for introspection. It may result in a purification process accompanied by some remorse of conscience.
Internally, you are quite different from the way you present yourself externally. You possess a vast reservoir of energy that may be partially hidden even from your own awareness.
Your internal disposition is strong, commanding, open, and of a rare generosity. More and more you should try to bring these characteristics into the open so that they can overcome some of the less desirable aspects of your personality.
Thursday, October 04, 2001
Poor, poor Sharon Stone - things have been rough for her of late (the hubbie loses his foot to a huge reptile) and now the her massive headaches seem to be much more (well, at least it will take her mind off of 'Sphere' - I'm still befuddled why any of them made that crap)...well in an effort to offer the 'Distraction of the Day', I give you Sharon Stones Scar
Monday, October 01, 2001
Does anyone have an epiphany I can borrow? I need one. Perhaps you could just lend me a fleeting moment of inspiration?
I'll be good to it - I promise. I'll feed it, bath it, rub it's tummy til it growls. We'll take nightly walks at sunset as the red, orange and golden hues of the day spill down over the horizon, breathing in the same hot, arid, Arizona air.
Being unemployed has robbed me of a lot of my natural spirit. I start working at a buddies art gallery tomorrow - nothing glamorous, just man labor stuff - moving bronzes, setting up for weekly shows/art walks, putting together mailings. I hope it helps, distracts me until something comes through.
Maybe I would settle for someone telling me a side-spliting, tears-down-the-cheek, think-your-gonna-pee-your-pants joke?
uh....I'm waiting.
Tuesday, September 25, 2001
Officially three months in to my state of unemployment, I'm starting to find it hard to smile when people say "Oh, you're gonna find something great - just be patient"...it get's hard to be patient and cheerful after three months of squashed leads and no paycheck. Anyhow - I had to distract myself today and came across this:
Monday, September 24, 2001
Thursday, September 20, 2001
Ok, too much depressing stuff in the air lately. I have completed the 4th installment in "Crumpled Dollar Bills - Episodes of My Youth" which will be showing up on my blog late tonight or tomorrow...it's pretty racy (an embarassing conclusion - based on a true incident) so I feel a little funny about putting it on here, but hey - what else would you expect from me?
Get to snuggle up over an intimate dinner Friday night with these adorable bloggers.
Of course I may not be able to face them after the "Crumpled, Dollar Bills" stories.
These two better be whispering sweet nothings about me while holding NYC together. Oh Yeah! Happy Belated Birthday Charlie - this is gonna be your year to shine baby!
Get to snuggle up over an intimate dinner Friday night with these adorable bloggers.
Of course I may not be able to face them after the "Crumpled, Dollar Bills" stories.
These two better be whispering sweet nothings about me while holding NYC together. Oh Yeah! Happy Belated Birthday Charlie - this is gonna be your year to shine baby!
Monday, September 17, 2001
Tragically, Mesa, AZ (where I grew up from 10 yrs old to college) was the location of the first hate crime murder related to the WTC/Pentagon bombings. I am embarrassed and disgusted for my state.
Lucky and I were driving around the historic Coronado district looking at properties yesterday and drove right up into a Mosque with a protest and vigil going on for the slain man. They looked very unnerved to see us and we were watched very cautiously as we passed. How sad.
HATE is the most wasteful of all human emotions. It lays waste to that which is tangible and intangible in and around us all. HATE has never built a bridge or brought people together - HATE has one practice and it is destruction. I'm not some girly pacifist, I just prefer THOUGHT to accompany ACTION. I can only hope in the coming days and weeks that we practice tolerance with our fellow citizens of the United States and attempt to not only tolerate differences but embrace what makes them wonderful.
Sunday, September 16, 2001
Sorry, there just seems to be little value in what I want to say this week, compared to the enormity of value in the expressions I have read by others better equipped to comment on the devastation.
Very, well written piece (and of course yes I verified it's validity, for more thoughts by this journalist - go here):
This is an article by Leonard Pitts, a columnist
from The Miami Herald. It
appeared, Wednesday, September
12, 2001:
*********************
We'll go forward from this moment. It's my job to have something to say. They pay me to provide words that help make sense of that which troubles the American soul. But in this moment of airless shock when hot tears sting disbelieving eyes, the only thing I can find to say,
the only words that seem to fit, must be addressed to the unknown author of this suffering.
You monster. You beast. You unspeakable bastard.
What lesson did you hope to teach us by your coward's attack on our World Trade Center, our Pentagon, us?
What was it you hoped we would learn? Whatever it was, please know that you failed.
Did you want us to respect your cause? You just damned your cause.
Did you want to make us fear? You just steeled our resolve.
Did you want to tear us apart? You just brought us together.
Let me tell you about my people. We are a vast and quarrelsome family, a family rent by racial, social, political and class division, but a family nonetheless. We're frivolous, yes, capable of expending tremendous emotional energy on pop cultural minutiae -- a singer's revealing dress, a ball team's misfortune, a cartoon mouse. We're wealthy, too, spoiled by the ready availability of trinkets and material goods, and maybe because of that, we
walk through life with a certain sense of blithe entitlement. We are fundamentally decent, though -- peace-loving and compassionate. We struggle to know the right thing and to do it. And we are, the overwhelming majority of us, people of faith, believers in a just and loving God.
Some people -- you, perhaps -- think that any or all of this makes us weak. You're mistaken. We are not weak. Indeed, we are strong in ways that cannot be measured by arsenals.
IN PAIN
Yes, we're in pain now. We are in mourning and we are in shock. We're still grappling with the unreality of the awful thing you did, still working to make ourselves understand that this isn't a special effect from some Hollywood block-buster, isn't the plot development from a Tom Clancy novel. Both in terms of the awful scope of their ambition and the probable final death toll, your attacks are likely to go down as the worst acts of terrorism
in the history of the United States and, probably, the history of the world. You've bloodied us as we have never been bloodied before.
But there's a gulf of difference between making us bloody and making us fall. This is the lesson Japan was taught to its bitter sorrow the last time anyone hit us this hard, the last time anyone brought us such abrupt and monumental pain. When roused, we are righteous in our outrage, terrible in our force. When provoked by this level of barbarism, we will bear any suffering, pay any cost, go to any length, in the pursuit of justice.
I tell you this without fear of contradiction. I know my people, as you, I think, do not. What I know reassures me. It also causes me to tremble with dread of the future.
In the days to come, there will be recrimination and accusation, fingers pointing to determine whose failure allowed this to happen and what can be done to prevent it from happening again. There will be heightened security, misguided talk of revoking basic freedoms. We'll go forward from this moment sobered, chastened, sad. But determined, too. Unimaginably determined.
THE STEEL IN US
You see, the steel in us is not always readily apparent. That aspect of our character is seldom understood by people who don't know us well. On this day, the family's bickering is put on hold. As Americans we will weep, as Americans we will mourn, and as Americans, we will rise in defense of all that we cherish.
So I ask again: What was it you hoped to teach us? It occurs to me that maybe you just wanted us to know the depths of your hatred. If that's the case, consider the message received. And take this message in exchange: You don't know my people. You don't know what we're capable of. You don't know what you just started.
But you're about to learn.
Very, well written piece (and of course yes I verified it's validity, for more thoughts by this journalist - go here):
This is an article by Leonard Pitts, a columnist
from The Miami Herald. It
appeared, Wednesday, September
12, 2001:
*********************
We'll go forward from this moment. It's my job to have something to say. They pay me to provide words that help make sense of that which troubles the American soul. But in this moment of airless shock when hot tears sting disbelieving eyes, the only thing I can find to say,
the only words that seem to fit, must be addressed to the unknown author of this suffering.
You monster. You beast. You unspeakable bastard.
What lesson did you hope to teach us by your coward's attack on our World Trade Center, our Pentagon, us?
What was it you hoped we would learn? Whatever it was, please know that you failed.
Did you want us to respect your cause? You just damned your cause.
Did you want to make us fear? You just steeled our resolve.
Did you want to tear us apart? You just brought us together.
Let me tell you about my people. We are a vast and quarrelsome family, a family rent by racial, social, political and class division, but a family nonetheless. We're frivolous, yes, capable of expending tremendous emotional energy on pop cultural minutiae -- a singer's revealing dress, a ball team's misfortune, a cartoon mouse. We're wealthy, too, spoiled by the ready availability of trinkets and material goods, and maybe because of that, we
walk through life with a certain sense of blithe entitlement. We are fundamentally decent, though -- peace-loving and compassionate. We struggle to know the right thing and to do it. And we are, the overwhelming majority of us, people of faith, believers in a just and loving God.
Some people -- you, perhaps -- think that any or all of this makes us weak. You're mistaken. We are not weak. Indeed, we are strong in ways that cannot be measured by arsenals.
IN PAIN
Yes, we're in pain now. We are in mourning and we are in shock. We're still grappling with the unreality of the awful thing you did, still working to make ourselves understand that this isn't a special effect from some Hollywood block-buster, isn't the plot development from a Tom Clancy novel. Both in terms of the awful scope of their ambition and the probable final death toll, your attacks are likely to go down as the worst acts of terrorism
in the history of the United States and, probably, the history of the world. You've bloodied us as we have never been bloodied before.
But there's a gulf of difference between making us bloody and making us fall. This is the lesson Japan was taught to its bitter sorrow the last time anyone hit us this hard, the last time anyone brought us such abrupt and monumental pain. When roused, we are righteous in our outrage, terrible in our force. When provoked by this level of barbarism, we will bear any suffering, pay any cost, go to any length, in the pursuit of justice.
I tell you this without fear of contradiction. I know my people, as you, I think, do not. What I know reassures me. It also causes me to tremble with dread of the future.
In the days to come, there will be recrimination and accusation, fingers pointing to determine whose failure allowed this to happen and what can be done to prevent it from happening again. There will be heightened security, misguided talk of revoking basic freedoms. We'll go forward from this moment sobered, chastened, sad. But determined, too. Unimaginably determined.
THE STEEL IN US
You see, the steel in us is not always readily apparent. That aspect of our character is seldom understood by people who don't know us well. On this day, the family's bickering is put on hold. As Americans we will weep, as Americans we will mourn, and as Americans, we will rise in defense of all that we cherish.
So I ask again: What was it you hoped to teach us? It occurs to me that maybe you just wanted us to know the depths of your hatred. If that's the case, consider the message received. And take this message in exchange: You don't know my people. You don't know what we're capable of. You don't know what you just started.
But you're about to learn.
Tuesday, September 11, 2001
Wise words. Dumb words. Soothing words. Hateful words.
It's odd to see me having nothing to say. I just don't.
My loving thoughts go out to my friends in NYC and I am sooo happy to see many adored NYC Bloggers safe.
Been up since 6am my time watching it all unfold. Spent almost 3 hours trying to give blood (no I don't give a SHIT about the ban, I am safe - get tested every 6 months - I'll lie about my preference to give blood, sorry, but I will) - the streets in Central Phoenix were blocked with people trying to do the same - everyone was being turned away. There is now a week long wait to give blood (and I was there when they opened)
As I left the hospital. I watched crowds of people filtering into the church chapel to pray.
Amazing.
It's odd to see me having nothing to say. I just don't.
My loving thoughts go out to my friends in NYC and I am sooo happy to see many adored NYC Bloggers safe.
Been up since 6am my time watching it all unfold. Spent almost 3 hours trying to give blood (no I don't give a SHIT about the ban, I am safe - get tested every 6 months - I'll lie about my preference to give blood, sorry, but I will) - the streets in Central Phoenix were blocked with people trying to do the same - everyone was being turned away. There is now a week long wait to give blood (and I was there when they opened)
As I left the hospital. I watched crowds of people filtering into the church chapel to pray.
Amazing.
Monday, September 10, 2001
ok - comments aren't working and the pop-up windows are driving me over the edge. Comments turned off til further notice. But hey - I do respond to email (well not super fast or anything - but I try).
Wiped out from way too much partying with my very wonderful soul-mate/boyfriend/husband/confidante/buddy and friends. Watched "Hannibal" under some "influence" last night - very fucked up movie to watch when you feel like "your part of the movie".
For those interested 'Crumpled, Dollar Bills - Part 4' is forthcoming, not sure why I decided to change the writing format but hey - change is good, right - uh, guys...are you there.....?
Wiped out from way too much partying with my very wonderful soul-mate/boyfriend/husband/confidante/buddy and friends. Watched "Hannibal" under some "influence" last night - very fucked up movie to watch when you feel like "your part of the movie".
For those interested 'Crumpled, Dollar Bills - Part 4' is forthcoming, not sure why I decided to change the writing format but hey - change is good, right - uh, guys...are you there.....?
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