I got stood up tonight, er -uh - STOOD UP.
I'll turn 35 in August and I find myself reflective - have I ever been blown off before ?
I mean certainly, I have - admit it everyone has, even if the uneasy other party later claims a "misunderstanding" - you know like the "temporary insanity defense" !
Though I have to admit - it brought on the worst hour of two Woody Allen nerousy (I'm kinda making that word up, or I just spelled it terribly!).
Here hows it goes (uh, please respect me after this - it's really pathetic):
Background Situation: Saturday Nite SL and I are out causing some trouble; we meet some pretty YOUNG things at Hamburger Mary's (INSERT HERE: Oh HCL, will you ever learn??), well after a lil lip-lock with said pretty boy and damn really he was fucking sweet and pretty - he ASKS if he can give me his number, I may be goin on 35 - but I swear they still call this a come-on.
Well I read through my SWINGERS manuscript and decide two days is a coolio amount to wait, I call yesterday and we arrange a dinner date for 7pm tonight - I mean, really - tell me know already if you didn't mean yes.
ANYWAY - so I call on my home from work to ask where he would like to go - Elements, Pizzeria Bianco, Fermier, T Cooks - i mean this guy (uh, ME)is an awesome and genrous first date, and - er, well, with all embarrassment and humility, the boy never calls back - and since I never bother to hold back on this site I will admit to you I even took my new Motorola cell in the shower - hiding it behind a shampoo bottle so I wouldn't miss my ringer.
I feel like a fucking tool.
So I get ready - don my new Dolce and Gabbana shirt and Big Star jeans - and well, kinda look at the clock. Tick - Dork - Tock- Friggin Loser.
So then the nerves kick in:
- I see it, he brags to his friend we're going on a date - his friend in mock horror says "Oh Gawddddd, not him - he put his last boyfriend in a grave not him!"
- He recalls that maybe the last month I took off the gym would mean less entree for him and more for the "tummy monster"
- Maybe the AC/DC t-shirt I was wearing when I met him was little TOO retro.
- Three words: Male Pattern Baldness
- I am cursed, I wanted this date out of sheer horniness "Me See Pretty Boy, Must stick Dick in Pretty Boy!"
- Many other self-mutilating thoughts.
So this is what I managed to do til about 8pm.
Well then I buck up and think - well men suck - but COMMERCE IS ALIVE - and went and bought myself a bright shiny 22 inch (ok, ok - it's 21.3 but we all round up - admit it) flat panel monitor for my computer...I mean, really I SAVED at least $300 on dinner - it was like a discount off the retail price.
Well - my love/sex life sucks - but I have pretty things....
Hmmmmmm, I'll just keep telling myself this is healthy.