wow - BLURRRRRRRRRRR - where the heck did the rest of the week go. Lord knows my ass never saw the gym. I worked my butt of this week, and let me tell you - when my boss handed me that bonus check yesterday I went and sat in my car (my piece of shit Toyota which is sooooooooooo on it's way out the door after seeing THAT bonus check - BMW baby!) , I called my Mom and told her I had gotten it and I just started sobbing...I was so embarrassed I had to get off the phone and fast. I felt like the whole shitty year was whacking me in the back of the head. All the rejections, all the false leads, all the god-damn cover letters and resumes, giving up my adorable lake-side apartment, giving up my SUV, giving up all the friends I had to work so hard to make and were so easy to maintain, coming back to Arizona like a wounded dog with his tail between his legs, the thousand questions: "Found a job yet??", "Are you looking EVERYWHERE?", "Are you sure your not being to picky?", the fake-sympathy-smiles from my bosses as I was escorted out of the agency the day I was laid-off, all the doubters among me wondering (was it maybe somehow my fault I had been laid off??), the months of scraping by, the self-doubt, the self-loathing, the embarrassment, the humility, canceling parties, avoiding calls, laying low and now finally THIS.

FUCK THE MOTHER FUCKING CORPORATE SACK OF SHITS WHO THOUGHT THEY BROKE MY SPIRIT, FUCK THEIR BULLSHIT PRAISE AND SMALL MINDS!!!!!I

I took a risk, I choose the path not ventured (at least for me) and I'm loving it, I'm free and I'm gonna make more money then I have ever, ever made in my life.

Damn - if I could even explain how good this feels. *grins*