This week was a blur.

Last weekend was all boozing and parties; looking to be a little more domesticated this weekend. Meet with the landscape architect on Saturday morning, very exciting - I love my home, but it has boring, curb appeal. Hit the Gym three times this week, light booze, no drugs, head feels pretty clear...I'm getting a little concerned about the extra 15 lbs I seem to have around the waist - but I'm telling myself to be patient while I get back in the swing of things.

Had a run in with Lucky at a Labor Day party on Sunday - at first it was akward, then it seemed good and then he walked off the dance floor leaving me with the words that "I had made the decision to leave him and break his heart" (to be fair I'm paraphrasing the gist of the words). Luckily I was distracted by having to drive a friends vomiting roomate home - but that made me lose contact with a beautiful blond Canadian architect I had spent most of my night flirting with. Actually was flirted pretty heavily with by two hot boys that night - felt good, a kinda missed that electricity.

Ended up talking to Lucky two days later when he called to apologize - I lost it and kinda tore into him - and then was like, "Shit - two years and I still let him push all of my buttons".

The end result of the conversation is that neither of us is ready to be friends, yet neither of us see's the sense in hating each other - I just asked that the next time we see each other in public we give each other 15 minutes - don't push it, try and geniunely be friendly and after maybe a few times of doing this maybe we'll feel more comfortable.

It's been complicated loving people, can't say the last four years has me racing to the alter - but somewhere in the back of my head I can see it would be nice to share parts of my life with someone again - and alas start having sex with something other than my hand (and no I don't mean something made of plastic ;) )