Sunday, November 03, 2002

Boyfriends turn to pick the movie last night - he picked "Ghost Ship"....I have completely rethought our relationship.

Actually... I have tappered off on my rushing into a proposal - I'm a dork - maybe as gay men we take the concept to litely. We are discussing rings - something that would give some public semblance that we are "together". He feels economically uncomfortable with the purchase of expensive "promise" rings right now and even more uncomfortable with me forking out the cash for both. This whole process must seem simpler in hetero relationships where the norms of society dictate the man handle the proposal process. We agree we would like to have a commitment ceremony "sometime" next year - just no exact dates.

So in lieu of all that I'm planning to go the other direction and concentrate on my feelings and how to share them - I know this is sounding sappy - but gimme a break it's not the first time my site has taken a turn down that road. I think people would be surprised at my demeanor in the real world and how hard I find it to share my thoughts and feelings. I've written him a letter - explaining all he's been to me in the last three years - all I want to be for him in the coming 70 years and that after 3 years - all flirtations aside - he is the only man I want to wake up to and good to bed with everyday.

No expensive gifts or lavish dinners - just me standing there in front of him laying it on the line.