Friday, July 26, 2002 would be hard to say I've been anything but a bit of a downer lately...I really, truly am sorry. The irony is the past couple of days "in the real world", I've been this bouncy shiny happy's oddly bi-polar. My pain is ebbing (pushed away by anger) and I've been spending time pushing through some hellish morning work-outs at the gym, walks then cuddling with the dog and hanging with friends who make me feel safe. If I've been remiss in writing, sharing, calling - it'll pass, I'll make you smile again soon, I want to hug you, tell you a dirty joke, mess with your hair, kiss you on your forehead, sucker-punch you in the arm - I want to make you not worry about me, and feel safe that I'll get through this, but needless to say - I know your there and I feel "sure" of you and that's all this queer lil boy trapped in a man's body could ever hope.