..so, um yeah....the 'Gil Gerard' thing was uh - made up....

...not quite sure I understand the "How's & Do's" of this one, but in a scant 3 days - I will have known my boyfriend for 3 years...in celebration I would like to - well propose.

(um - it got really quiet in here or is it just me ??)

So - I'm blurry on how to go about this. We haven't talked much about our anniversary - but a month ago he made it clear he wanted to "see a ring on his finger"...so I accept that. I want only him (well I mean in the Real World) - I'm keeping all my cyber boyfriends. But what the fuck do I do? How do I say it ? Where? When?

If I buy the rings without him I'm concerned I'm emasculating him - If I buy the rings with him - I'm worried it just seems like a trip to the mall.

I have two venues set for the ceremony (Royal Palms or Elements at sunset) which we have agreed would be on our 4th anniversary....ugh, it should seem more romantic and spontaneous than this shouldn't it ??

Oh what a night last night was - sigh. Good times, good times.

For the 14th consecutive year I went as Gil Gerard of 'Buck Rogers' fame, not as Buck Rogers though, no that would understate his genius...no just as good old Gil Gerard.
Oh man - o - man how the crowds eyed me. I could hear the cat calls and the hungry whispers. That's just the effect that 'Gil Gerard' had on people - like being inches from a star. I beamed radiantly - confidant in my sansabelt slacks and velour shirt (just enough of the old chest hair showing to drive the girls and hey guys too - crazy). If I could of had a dime for ever passer-by who marveled at the arch of my perfectly feathered hair - I would chuckle - "Here touch it - it's made of glass - no really!"

Oh what a night, what a night....

a little music shopping was added to tonight's agenda:

• Tracy Chapman: "Let It Rain"
  
• Alison Moyet: "Hometime"
  
• Dusty Springfield: "Dusty In Memphis"
  
• Cafe Roma: "An Italian Chill Out Experience"
  

Today's blog is brought to you by the letter "W" and the wonderful people at 'National Geographic' *
(* The editor would like to note that no coorelation has been drawn between said magazine and said letter of the alphabet - all similarities to those living and or dead is just plain freaky)

The "Would You Still Love Me If You Knew" List

• I snore. Like a trooper. Never consistently - out of nowhere. Sometimes it doesn't happen for weeks - but when it does - for Gods Sakes tricks leap from the bed.
  
• I leave the lid up. Not to be confused with leaving the seat up (that's for pagans!), but the lid - it's my mental cue to always flush.
  
• I leave things in the refrigerator. I like to think of myself as an amatuer biologist - breeding new life forms fascinates me - I don a white tunic and pretend I'm Marlon Brando in "The Island of Dr. Moreau"
  
• I'm a "wiper". After sex I want the cum off of me. Treat me as your sneeze guard all you want during a hot wrestle in the hay - but if you want cuddling - I need to wipe off.
  
• My balls are shaved. All else is "au naturale" but unshaved balls are just unattractive and harder to chew (kidding).
  
• I swear. Not a little alot. I actually have 45 different uses and inflections for the word "Fuck" to express a myriad of moods, behaviors, objects and actions. I'm trying to work on this one to make myself a little more lovable to a boyfriend who HATES it.
  
• I'm a poet, but I don't write poetry.
  
• I'm an artist, but I no longer paint or draw.
  
• I squashed my artistic side to be a businessman. I sold my artistic soul to drive a BMW.
  
• I pout. Not always. But it happens. The bottom lip even protrudes for 100% true pouting effect. This normally occurs when I'm denied sex, told I can't have another drink or have to see any movie directed by "the AntiChrist" : Jerry Bruckheimer.
  
• I'm easily distracted. I'm a lot - A LOT - like my dog.........whoops - what was I saying I was just trying to figure out where I buried that last bone.
• I roll my eyes. Secretly I must want to be a pouty, easily distracted, teenage girl - who swears, snores and leaves the lid up - and doesn't write or draw and shaves her -uh never mind.
  

Do you still love me ?

1 Misconception about My Body

I weigh less then people think. At 180lbs, people seem surprised when I weigh more then the 6ft tall guy standing next to me.
2 Lies about My Body

Smooth as a babies butt (well, unless that baby was the actor Andy Garcia)

Three Words: Twelve Inch Penis
3 Truths about My Body

I'm not sure that I will ever have 100% body confidence without the aid of booze or drugs.

Booze and drugs haven't actually had the best effect on my overall body.

"Land O'Scars" - criss-crossing my skull (surgery/baseball bat to the head), one on each ankle (C-section IV to major vein), between my eyebrows (German Shepard bite), on my right shoulder (Road Burn from Motorcycle accident) and on my right knee (Doberman bite)
4 Wishes about My Body

That - as I have to date - never break a bone in my body.

That the cartilidge between my CV Joint and Clavicle increases to diminish the pain after working out.

18.5 " biceps - no more - no less.

To get my ass back to being as tight and high as it was when I was 23.

Please no skin cancer - got a bad feeling about this one and the Scandanavian blood that runs through my viens

1 Misconception about My Mind

I'm stupid. In the real world I can't tell you how many people assume I'm stupid just by looking at me.
2 Lies about My Mind

100% "stream-of-conciousness" (my mind demands structure, feels comfortable with "black-and-white" and always finds method - to madness)

I'm incredibly smart. (I'm really not - I'm just not stupid)
3 Truths about My Mind

It works better under pressure.

It filters and processes things even when I wish it would stop - always just cranking away.

It lacks inspiration. I'm a creative "re-envisionist", but I have few brilliant original ideas.
4 Wishes about My Mind

To solve the 'obvious' problems faster - without bogging myself down in the minutae of details.

To regain just half of the intellectual capacity I had in college.

To become thirsty for knowledge and informational attainment on my own (and not from morning show news or USA today)

To comprehend the incomprehensable.


1 Misconception about My Soul

That I am a bad person.
2 Lies about My Soul

There's not enough left to love another person.

I sold it to the devil for a vial of 'G' and a handjob.
3 Truths about My Soul

With every painful entry I right and memory I shed - it grows stronger.

I've opened it up to fewer people in the real world then I have to strangers on the web.

I may not believe in God or organized religion, but I believe in Soul - which seems hard to substantiate given the previous statement.
4 Wishes about My Soul

That one day it be as beautiful as Aarons.

That it teaches me to stop hating.

That it helps me to start loving more freely.

That one day you'll see it coming before I even enter the room.