A StarFucks Epiphany

Me (devoid of my morning cup O’Joe) : mumbles incomprehensibly “Moooooooorning”

StarFucks Clerk: perky as all shit (what do they mainline this shit?): “Good Morning to YOU!”

Me: “Yeah can I get an enormous cup of classic irony with steaming hot neurosis and a splash of unresolved guilt?”

SFC: “Ok a Venti Slap of Reality with low-fat humiliation and a splash of deep ceded shame!”

Me: “NOOOO…. I asked for an enormous cup of classic irony with steaming hot neurosis and a splash of unresolved guilt.”

SFC: “OK then…..a Grande sense of no direction, half self-doubt, half poor self esteem!”

Me: “UH….can I just have a cup of black coffee”

SFC: “Sure – your soul please”

Me: "Can you make change ?"