...uh, never mind...much better now....

....ok there...shit...high as a kite am I.....dude...I am..the boy is asleep, the Baby is asleep and me - well - shit - keep that fucking bullet out of my nose.

it is soooooo weird to troll the blogs high......

I miss Charlie, I hope your doing welll.....

spiral.hole.kitty.dig.complete.

Happy-Happy, Joy-Joy ....I finally have my USB cable back and I am now trying to catch up on three events worth of pictures. So anyway while I'm trying to be a dutiful buddy and get them off to my friends, I thought I would throw up a few from the White Party (and YES sooner or later we did leave the hotel room - FUN-FUN)

inspired by mobile homes, country music and a taste for the deep-fried, I bring you last nights
WHITE TRASH DINNER MENU
2 bags of Totino's Pizza Rolls
1 bag of Mozzarella Sticks
1 box of 1 million Deep-Fried Ravioli (I exaggerated, maybe it was less than a box)
1 bottle of Moet & Chandon White Star
and some salad (there had to be something natural to tease the digestive tract with)

Lucky and I bought, baked, ate then stared with complete revulsion at this unbelievable cuisine, though tempted to wear Daisy Dukes to dinner I resisted. Then we settled in for David Lynch's "Mulholland Drive" in "kitty-vision" (which I swear actually made more sense from a plot standpoint this time though I still see three-to-four different themes criss-crossing the picture).

...and I must ask, am I the only guy alive who wishes he could tivo every episode of "Mystery Science Theater 2000" ??? (and I don't even have Tivo).

oh John
I haven't slept with any of the same people (YET), I was just illustrating the point that if we all wrote down every name of every person we knew in every state, we would have ended up having
slept with,
fought with,
broken up with,
fallen in love with,
had a good time with,
gone to school with,
danced at a party with,
..... I know your all getting the point....
at least one of them.

It's that whole Six Degrees of Seperation thing (but tighter - though doesn't Stockard Channing rock to some sort of infinite power)....and NO for the love of GOD - let's not have a meme about posting the names of every person we know in every state, etc. - we'll play this game hypothetically.

On a more (or less) interesting note, besides just charming the pants off of me during our email dialogue of the other day Mr. Brown and I came up with an interesting idea for a competitor to the secondary love of my life's "Swishy" and Max's well received "Burn, Baby, Burn" CD deal.

Ready:




Oh, come on nowwwwwwww....you know your so curious! We create lists of bloggers who will send each other their new or used boxers/briefs/banana hammocks/jocks/panties/etc, all for the perverse amusement and pleasure of another blogger.... BJ - I know you'll be down with this idea.

What, huh ???
How can you SAY that, this idea is ahead of it TIME, Brilliant I say - BRILLIANT!!!!!
Your just being judgemental and cruel - TERRIBLY CRUEL!
What????
Oh yeah well I guess the dirty underwear part IS kinda sick - that was Johns doing .

Have a great weekend!

A One Act Play by HCL:

(The Scene): A innocent looking coffee-house close to the college campus, young, attractive bohemians milling about, laughing, debating and enjoying the warm, spring night.

(The Time): The not so distant past (last night in fact)

(The Characters):

Teel : Seemingly new to the ways of the world, but suspiciously satisfied with the taste of ANYTHING deep-fried in a vat of oil.

Encorswish - Somehow sweet and jaded, kind but cruel, alluring but disturbing all at the same time, he fixes his steely eyes upon you in a gaze that says "I have lint in my belly-button", seducatively he draws on his cigarette and huffs "I DONT NEED no stinkin man!"

HCL - The Dawg, dangerous and horny, sniffing legs and butts...his whimper a casual impulse, his bite - more often more than he can chew.

(The Music): Circa 1978 ' blaring "Deep Throat" (Bum-ding-a-Ching-CHING)

(Action!)

encorswish: "Dude, (smoke, draw, puff)...uh why are you sniffing my ass?"

teel: "Hey Chris - this, is uh, making me a little nervous - do you think he can put his pants back on ?"

hcl: "Ruff-Ruff!"

teel "Chris he's humping my leg - for the LOVE OF GOD make HIM SToooooooooooop!"

encorswish: (Now reclining nude - think "Bodecelli") "Better you than me kid"

hcl: (slurping noises too disgusting to imagine)

teel: "Ple-ase- Chris d-ont let meeee go this waaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy......."
(An errie silence envelops the stage)

encorswish: "well another one bites the dust"

hcl: (smiling, deliriously happy) "I love Rim-O-Rama night at the coffeehouse"


(Curtain Falls)

Hey boys had a really fun time bullshitting with ya last night - thanks for the rim job.

(EDITORS NOTE: No bloggers were harmed in the production of this National Public Radio special event, we now return you to "Talk of the Tongue" with Diane Reems)

Things I could talk about (sung to the strains of Ms. Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” – uh, not really, but I mean if you really want to and can figure out how – well, hey, go for it ….damn - your good.) :

• What a fantastic time we had with our absolutely adorable and appreciative houseguests from San Diego over Pride weekend.
  
• The unbelievable heat (high 90’s) this weekend which made our absolutely adorable houseguests a bit queasy (Ok – one threw up) and a little cranky at moments.
  
• A wonderful Pride breakfast where I wowed everyone with the best Bloody Mary’s on this earth (I stir them with something special), then many beers at Pride Fest, then back to house to swim – drink more beer, eat pizza, then Mr. Presta’s AMAZING - fermented for 12 hours - Sangria in the pool with an unsuspecting straight couple and 10 fags, more bloody mary’s, sangria, beer, naps, then dinner at My Florist, lots of wine, a little fight with the boyfriend (white liquor makes us both feisty and irish), the Amsterdam for Martini’s, Mandarin and Tonics and Rasberry Ale, then Warren Gluck (at the space formerly known as Crowbar – now DWNTWN) and more beer, a lot of chance meetings from my dating/hook-up past and then two really, really abnormally large horsepills disguised as X (or was it the other way around)....
  
• Naseau, not a little, A LOT, an unbelievable nerve-racking amount of naseau that started around 4am on Saturday and lasted all day on Sunday forcing me to no-show Roland Belmares Tea Dance put on by Ms. Noah Williams and Friends. Sorry - buddy.
  
• Laying in the fetal position thinking “WOW – X-Files really sucks ass now” and wondering how to raise my head to eat a Zesta saltine, while my loving boyfriend made me soup and pet my head.
  
• Our adorable dog BABY who wowed everyone with what a sweet, well-behaved lover she was…I searched all guest bags on the way out to make sure she hadn’t been confiscated.
  
• A nightmarish time working through 1099R's and other forms - using shitty HR Block online which subsequently screwed up and sent my taxes on the 16th - uh, anyone know anything about tax penalties for filing late ?? (Amount the IRS buttfucked me for - without a gentlemens reach-around - $1200)
  
• Needing a rest from it all for awhile – butching it up this weekend and taking my boy, my dad and my dads best friend to see the Diamondbacks play this Sunday (seats – Black-Tie, behind home plate : My DAD is gonna shit)
  
• Having coffee and a rim job (don't pretend that's not what your after) with arizona's most alluring blogger and some MYSTERY blogger tonight - do I smell hot 3 way (Rim Jobs for EVERYONE - Horray!!!!) ???

WARNING: this one's site always makes you really friggin horny - which sucks when your trapped behind the desk and can't do shit about it.

Have a great weekend everyone.

chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chew, chew......
Another stirring sports controversy has captured the attention of my state and many others

SPIT


Arizona Gay Pride is this saturday so we have 4 wonderful house guests galor from both San Diego and Denver. Should be a good - and exhausting weekend - coming up with little gifts for the guests and a Bloody Mary Breakfast on Saturday before the Parade should get everyone started off on a lively foot.

hmmmmm...seems I've been "bitch-slapped" ....Joe - Buddy - I think you took the materialistic references to objects in my blog a little to seriously, but your point is appreciated - god knows someone needs to try and keep me in check *grins*. Please understand if you've read me long enough, I'm a lower middle-class kid, who put himself through college, whose parents have never bought him a car (and how I always envied my friends who just got handed the keys to the BMWer and then complained about how distant Mummy and Daddy were to them. I EARNED that lake-side apartment and SUV through straight A's in college despite waiting tables til midnight and then getting up early to work as a grunt on a landscaping crew, I cater-waitered, ran errands, did side projects, and took out a lot of student loans...I even posed in the raw for a national magazine when all my funds ran out - and ensued the embarrassment and slings and arrows of that decision. All of this to have these things (meaningless in the greater persepective of the love for my boyfriend, my friends, my family, my dog) pulled out of my hands after only having them for 11 months - because the very wealthy owners of my agency wanted to STAY wealthy - and rolling over my carcass and putting me on unemployment meant nothing to them. NO not all Fags are rich, but some work their asses off for 32 years working everyday for a minimum of 40 hours since the first day they could, trying to never take the easy way out, trying to make everyday a hard day worked and maybe, luckily in the end of it all ending up not rich, but pretty well off - but RICH in spirit and integrity YET STILL WEALTHY in friends and in hope.
'nuf said.

wow - BLURRRRRRRRRRR - where the heck did the rest of the week go. Lord knows my ass never saw the gym. I worked my butt of this week, and let me tell you - when my boss handed me that bonus check yesterday I went and sat in my car (my piece of shit Toyota which is sooooooooooo on it's way out the door after seeing THAT bonus check - BMW baby!) , I called my Mom and told her I had gotten it and I just started sobbing...I was so embarrassed I had to get off the phone and fast. I felt like the whole shitty year was whacking me in the back of the head. All the rejections, all the false leads, all the god-damn cover letters and resumes, giving up my adorable lake-side apartment, giving up my SUV, giving up all the friends I had to work so hard to make and were so easy to maintain, coming back to Arizona like a wounded dog with his tail between his legs, the thousand questions: "Found a job yet??", "Are you looking EVERYWHERE?", "Are you sure your not being to picky?", the fake-sympathy-smiles from my bosses as I was escorted out of the agency the day I was laid-off, all the doubters among me wondering (was it maybe somehow my fault I had been laid off??), the months of scraping by, the self-doubt, the self-loathing, the embarrassment, the humility, canceling parties, avoiding calls, laying low and now finally THIS.

FUCK THE MOTHER FUCKING CORPORATE SACK OF SHITS WHO THOUGHT THEY BROKE MY SPIRIT, FUCK THEIR BULLSHIT PRAISE AND SMALL MINDS!!!!!I

I took a risk, I choose the path not ventured (at least for me) and I'm loving it, I'm free and I'm gonna make more money then I have ever, ever made in my life.

Damn - if I could even explain how good this feels. *grins*

ok - yeah, I'm back - what a roller-coaster ride...so, so much fun, but admittedly by the end I was sick of dancing, sick of not sleeping, sick of people groping, bumping, knocking into me, asking for a bump, asking for a drink, asking for a hit, but never returning the favor...sick of having tons of people streaming in and out of the hotel room like it was a dorm, finding strangers (COMPLETE - How the fuck did YOU get in here - STRANGERS) crashed on our floor, and well, so many stories - some completely outlandish criticisms on the human condition and how some people weren't raised in a barn - but a Crack House.

But Lucky and I always come back more together, more a cohesive unit, more in love and more sure that we are lucky to be a couple and not relishing the wildness (well we were pretty wild ourselves) of our single friends. Lots of private jokes and private memories, and this year one other thing - something special, a first - that brought us even closer together than I ever thought we good be.

And there are pictures and they will be aired like dirty, dirty laundry - but for now it's the end of the quarter - I want a BIG BIG bonus, so much to do, much to do.

.....so it begins, scrambling to finish A/R, A/P reports for work, last minute double-duty efforts at the gym, frantic orders placed for, um, supplies, the bevy of "Hey can we crash in your room for just the night", "Hey what hotel are you at?" "What are you wearing to the Military/Afterhours/Pool/White/Afterhours/Pool/Sunset Tea/Closing/Party?", "Hey are you by the pool - can you get us in for the pool parties", "Do I look fat in this bathing suit - WHY YES, YES YOU DO"...

I'm smart enough to see through all the crap, this is big boy popularity camp, grown men - professionals of all walks - converging for a weekend to oogle, cruise, drink, party, dance, sun, hook-up, make friends, laugh, share, make memories - it's not earth-shattering, it's not for the betterment of all mankind, but shit - its a lot of crazy fun - and if you didn't know it, I've had some real shit thrown my way this year and I plan to dance and have fun til all that crap sweats out of my pores, all that hurt rolls off of my back and that smile spreads so far accross my face it gets lost somewhere behind my ears....

I'm tan, buff, fresh new barber cut (though I'll go in for one more #1 before Friday morning)...physically I look pretty good - more meat in the waist then I would hope, but at 172lbs (as of this morning) I've put on muscle and seen a slight decrease in belly jelly.

I'll be high on life, friends and stuff you pay for come Fri-Sat-Sun-Monday - so I wish you all well this Easter Weekend.

Til then: Palm Springs, baby, Palm-fucking-SPRINGS.

From Free Will Astrology :

LEO (July 23-Aug 22)


Week of March 21, 2002

I think you should be removed from civilized society for a while. You've gotten too tame; you've been hypnotized by the conventional wisdom. If I had my way, you'd be temporarily relocated to your very own wild kingdom. Picture a thousand acres of natural beauty where you'd be excused from all the artificial rhythms and soul-sucking customs you have become far too accustomed to. Imagine what it might be like to let the animal within you run around and play. I'm reminded of a phrase by Jungian storyteller Clarissa Pinkola Estes: "homesick for wild knowing." That's what you are, Leo.

Weird - I dreamt the other night I had become "boring". not invisible. not dying. not The King of Spain, but just "boring". In the dream I was in a bathhouse/bookstore type environment (ok - I truly SWEAR my entire life hasn't been some 'Letter to Fag Penthouse' though it may seem that way) and this boy was trying to coax me into a stall where in turn another boy in the adjoining stall - seen through a glory hole - was waving his solid 10 inch cock and trying to get us to both partake. In lieu of my standard uniform of tight-insert clever, ambigiously gay, sexual slogan here- tshirt, snug, worn jeans and heavy - kick some ass - shoes, I was dressed Preppy, very Preppy (think 'Sixteen Candles' - I AM THE KING OF THE GEEKS! thank you very much) and well, I just kept walking. I came back once and peeked and remembered just feeling bored.
And well then the alarm went off and I woke up.

Do you just wake up one day and you've become boring??

There I sat last night - feeling the itch to Blog - to share, to unburden my weary soul - and just watched that damn evil-eye "OH YES, YES we're watching you" AOL Icon spin deliriously in circles - wink-wave-wink-wave, and then time-out....really do all Bloggers log on at 9pm (MST) just to ruin things for me and my pathetic 56k modem ?


And then suddenly the man who has kidnapped my husband and has the libido of a 19 year old Morman on his first mission (riding their bikes isn't the only thing they ride on those 2 year trips of spreading Mr. Smith's love - Gods little SUNBEAM my ass - horny little bastards) demanded sex...crap sex on a Monday Night - a MONDAY night for Christ Sake - I felt like I was in a porno - AND I LIKED IT! Thank god I convinced the captain of the rocket ship that this mission was for the good of mankind (considering well - his "attitude" of late), but man the mission was a complete success, NASA called in to congratulate and the alien residing in my boyfriend wants a rematch tonight.


Oh to be young again.

PS - Noah if you friggin bring this post up at the gym in front of said husband - I will never get laid again ! Shhhhhhhhhhh........


PSS - Have I mentioned how much I missed you

Ok...I haven't even begun to read all the other Bloggers takes on the Diane Sawyer interview with Rosie last night so my jist of it is as untainted and as personal at this point as it's gonna be.


Maybe I'm just a sucker, but at several points during the two-hour broadcast I just wanted to cry - especially during any of the interviews with the Lofton Family and their kids.


My mother was an orphan - beyond the proverbial baby in the basket - she "literally" was the baby in the basket (along with a paternal twin sister who she was immediately seperated from and did not meet again til her early 20's) left at the door of an orphanage in Washington state. My mother was a byproduct of the foster care system of the 40s and the 50s, passed from home to home. Some nice, some abusive, some just cold. She a beautiful (literally - this woman was a HOTTIE), talented, intelligent, good-natured and kind young lady was - never adopted, never someones daughter, someones sister - she was denied that love and I can still see to this day - in her words and her actions - how it haunts her.


When representative Ball from Florida spoke - it was not only infuriating, not only ridiculous, but absolutely depressing. This man doesn't strike me as stupid, that's the depressing part (I have always naively believed that intelligent people are able to see the Right Wing Bullshit Rhetoric for what it is - HATE) - but foolish - so mired down in conservative, black-and-white, rules are rules, let me use religion as my crutch for having no real opinions of my own. Even conceding that what the Lofton's had done was "commendable", but still wanting to wash those actions clean for the sake of his rules and his horrifyingly stereotypical description of what a Mother & Father are like and represent that would have sent any Woman Rights follower looking for a gun.


I am NOT a role model for gays. Yes I have a great job, I'm funny, I'm educated, play well with others, fall into that so-called and poorly described "straight-acting" category...but lets face it, I hit the GENRE statistic - I've slept around, I use drugs for recreation, I attend circuit parties, I've played in the bath houses and the bookstores - this does not change the fact that I still think I'm a HELLUVA guy to know - but I'm no role model.


I want kids, but NOT yet, I spent my early years a very serious young man trying to be a gay man my family and friends would be proud of, then I traveled and learned about life outside the US, then I went to college late, and now SLOWLY I am settling down. I have found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, we have gotten a dog, we are looking for a home to call OURS.


But as of right now - I AM THE TYPE OF FAG THAT THE CHRISTIAN COALITION IS AFRAID WILL BUTTFUCK THEIR SONS STRAIGHT TO HELL.


But there are so many of you out there who aren't - I think of Aaron and of Beau. These guys seem like they would make AMAZING fathers.


And you know one day I'll leave my selfish phase and I'll want to hear that pitter-patter of a little boy or girl, to teach them how to draw, make up songs, play in the grass, get dirty...

and I just want to know that when I get there...

that I can.

 


I had a HUGE treat last night when my best friend since college - Victoria - made a surprise visit to Phoenix from La Jolla. LOTS of wine, our FAVORITE restaurant and our FAVORITE men made it really easy to ignore how shitty the waiter was and how expensive the check was.

At first it was a strange warm feeling stirring inside my stomach - DAMN is that the Chili from last night ??, but then the sensation washed over me all warm and fuzzy (no I wasn't on X, that was Saturday night - BYE-BYE CroBar - SING IT! another bar bites the dust, and another one does, and another one does, another bar bites the dust HEY! ) - I felt it creep through my Big Star Jeans - filling my new - really awesome Steve Hammond brown suede, green leather, bowling striped sneakers and then zinging straight through every available blood vessel like a starship rocketing to my heart. Awesome amounts of blood pumping - nearly causing a cardiovascular overload I haven't experienced since I watched all Real World Seattle episodes back-to-back on a marathon weekend (SLAP that SICK bitch you CLOSET HOMO!)....

I have arrived....
I am a flutter...
I AM ON HIS FAVORITES LIST

hmmmm....the interesting referral/key word search phrase of the day seems to be:

FURRY PORN

Now one would normally think that this would be an immediate link to, well, you know who...but it just left me thinking how many other possible - alternative - sites it could pull up, suddenly I'm picturing naked bunnies, smoking cigs, wearing harnesses - seductively daring you to "Fuck Like A Rabbit", Overstuffed Teddy Bears forced into unnatural positions against the better grace of God, FAO Schwartz and natural fiber and worst of all - Ziefried & Roy wearing diamond studded-cock rings, purring and lisping sexual innuendo to a frightened, caged cheetah while prancing around in white, mink coats.

...I guess I now know why my mother also said an overactive imagination is a very bad thing indeed.